How much love lives
Frederic Begbeder took a very precise time limit for love - three years, but at the end of his book he himself also refuted this expression. Skeptics immediately picked up the phrase and began to bring in her defense a bunch of arguments, and the most basic of them is that times have changed a long time ago and a person is simply not capable of loving his partner all his life. Does such a theory have grounds, and how much time is allotted to love?
In England, a study was conducted by psychologists and neuroscientists on the subject of how different circumstances affect attachment and love in a couple, and it was even concluded that based on these data, how many people spend time together.
What factors are important for the age of love?
Marriage can be considered almost perfect if paired there are common eating habits, the same attitude to political life, and also, if the spouses share views on rest and leisure activities. But the literary and musical needs have a much smaller impact on the strength of relationships. Another important component is sexual compatibility and, despite the fact that many argue that sex is not the main thing in a relationship, sex and attitude towards him are certainly a very important part. And if, in their joint day off, the couple prefers to do their less urgent business, instead of learning the art of love in practice, then in the future there is little chance of such a couple.
The next important point that psychologists have revealed is how long it takes to forget a loved one. If the feelings were truly real, then it takes exactly half of the time to forget, how long the relationship lasted. For example, the relationship lasted four years, which means that it takes exactly two years to recover after parting.
Before you start thinking about how much love lives, and how long is allotted for your relationship, think about whether you have love or just love? That is why many people are perplexed after parting, how was it, like, and the feelings were, but eventually broke up ... The reason for this is quite understandable - there was no love in the pair, but love.
Love or love?
At first, love cannot be distinguished from love, there is passion and feelings, and even plans for a joint future. In this case, lovers can fly on the wings of love, write each other sms in the morning and swear eternal love. This state lasts, as a rule, up to three years, after which the veil of love subsides, and we begin to see a partner with all its flaws. And then the couple have two options for the development of events: love turns into love and the second option - they leave.
So what happens, and why do we stop idealizing a loved one over time? It’s just that at a certain moment people stop pretending to each other and reveal their true qualities, for example, your ideal partner, it turns out, does not wash dishes, he sits in the bathroom for an hour, and he already pays less attention to you than he did before. relationship time. You can tolerate for a long time and turn a blind eye, but in the end all this irritation results in quarrels and constant conflicts. This situation can be viewed from two sides, with one here and your fault, you could not come to a compromise and did not adjust to a partner, but on the other hand, does it make sense to tolerate and close eyes to many things?
But still, if you want to fight for your relationship - your task is to translate your own love into something more serious, you should understand that love is not only feelings, pleasure, but also constant work. Love may be more peaceful, but it doesn’t make it worse; it’s just different. Perhaps, after some time, the volcano of passion will subside, but you can get satisfaction from joint harmony, incredible closeness and understanding of each other. It's great when there is a person next to you who you know one hundred percent, and he knows you as well, you do not need to play any more roles.
Relationship development is always very unpredictable, and falling in love can grow into great love, or it may not grow, but as long as everything goes well with you, you should not think about it. The recipe for happy relationships is simple - you should always love, like the first and last time, even then you will realize that your roads diverge. But in any case, we must try to fight together with the difficulties that have befallen you.
After all, there are now many couples who live together all their lives, but how nicely a family elderly couple walking down the street "by the handle". Their secret is not only in the power of love, but also in the fact that, despite all the difficulties, they have retained their feelings and carried their love through many years. If you think about it, then nature correctly calculated and thought out: a person simply cannot withstand spending a huge amount of energy throughout his life, which is spent at the very beginning of a relationship, passion naturally gives way to calmer feelings.