Psychologist-trainer, head of the international educational project "Psychology of the Third Millennium" Oleg Gadetsky talks about the natural male and female qualities and why a man should not live only by the interests of the family.
Male and female nature
Today, many young men show the qualities of a teenager - prefer to sit on the Internet, watch movies, hang out. Is it a feature of our time?
Oleg Gadetsky: Yes, this is a feature of our time. Women master male qualities, men - women. Women want to be independent, and when a woman has an independent nature, she maims a man. Next to such a woman, he does not develop, but remains a boy. Child - it means irresponsibility.
If a woman is independent, if she does not expect guidance and help from a man, then she will break it. A man is by nature a leader, he needs someone he cares about. And it is a woman who creates an order for a man to be a man.
Today, many mothers in their relationships with their husbands do not show real feminine nature, and this example has a detrimental effect on sons. They grow up irresponsible teenagers who think only of themselves.
But the man also destroys the woman. If a man cares about a woman, protects her, gives protection, is attentive to her feelings, she is ready to throw aside all her independence. Due to the fact that most modern men do not possess such qualities, women tend to be independent. When such a man builds a relationship with his wife, he sets an example to both his daughter and son. Therefore, such independent girls and such irresponsible boys grow up.
How to change this?Every young man and every girl should not think about how to change the other, but about how to change himself. First you have to become a real one by the qualities yourself, then I can help another to become a real one. Someone alone must take full responsibility, and no matter who it will be: a woman or a man.
What are male and female qualities that are real?
Oleg Gadetsky: Mens: Leadership, patronage, the ability to think about the good of another, to sacrifice, care. This is one moment.
The second point is a social mission. A man should not live only in the interests of the family, such is his nature. He must have a disinterested meaningful case, aimed at the welfare of others.
For a woman, chastity is important above all. When a woman is faithful, she gives a man protection and inspires him..
Male nature is dynamic, explosive, it has many sharp corners. The female nature balances it, therefore qualities such as tolerance, gentleness, caution, attentiveness, sensitivity are inherent in it. It is also the ability to experience emotions, to feel relationships. Now female nature is often understood as sexual nature.
Female nature is not sexual nature, but maternal. Sexual nature destroys, maternal leads to harmony. Naturally, a woman should be attractive, sexual nature should manifest itself, but not be dominant. The purpose of a woman is to decorate the world with beauty, and, above all, with the beauty of the heart, expressed in the eyes shining with love!
Why does a man, having achieved success, leave his wife?
Oleg Gadetsky: This is due to irresponsibility and selfishness. "I have achieved a career in life, money, I can afford everything I want," when a man thinks so, it means that he wants to enjoy and exploit others.
He cannot be happy, because the law of man’s nature is the law of responsibility, protection. He will enjoy the relaxation of the mind, but there will be no complete deep satisfaction. True, if it does not change in this new relationship. If he keeps the paradigm of the selfish person, he will never be happy, that’s absolutely certain.
And the woman? As you know, both parties are to blame ...When there is conflict and dissolution of relationships, there is always the fault of both. There are two universal mistakes of a woman. The first is inattention in relationships, when she thought only about children and the household, and forgot her husband as a man. For a man it is very important that a woman attracts him. Female nature - creative, intriguing, mysterious. Woman must be a woman throughout life, and not only at 25, when she selects a partner for herself.
Another mistake - independence, what we talked about. When a woman acts independently in a relationship, a man has a spontaneous desire to move away from her, because he cannot be realized as a man with her. He needs to be patronized. If a woman does not consciously give him this role, she unconsciously alienates him from herself and lays the possibility of the appearance of another, which will give him this taste of life, the taste of relationships.
Can a person be transported in one area and not carried to another?
Oleg Gadetsky: There are so-called karmic tasks. Someone has it in the sphere of relationships, which means that the person will not be successful in the sphere of relationships and he will have to make efforts to change the situation. At the same time, he can be quite successful in the field of money, career and health.
It is possible that in one area success, in the other - defeat. But it is important to understand that full satisfaction from life arises when a person is successful in all walks of life. If I have constant psychological difficulties in my relationship, how can I experience the happiness of working? Any unrealized functions, unpleasant emotions will live inside me all the time. You need to be a whole person.
On the domestic level - it is health, relationships, prosperity, career. If you take a scientific approach, you must select the physical and socio-emotional sphere. The first is related to health and our capabilities in the outside world, prosperity also applies to it, the second is the sphere of relationships. This includes family, children, career, this sphere is connected with my perception of others and their perception of me.
An even more subtle sphere is intellectual, connected with the mind, worldview. Realization in this area means that a person has accumulated wisdom, lives meaningfully, deeply.
And finally, the fourth the most important area of our being is spiritual. She is associated with revealing the energy of love in our heart - as much as I can selflessly take care of others and accept the unselfish love of others. This is the realization of personality at the soul level. It is associated with subtle spiritual skills - how much a person has the feeling that he lives under the highest guidance.
It is important to understand that life is a science and it has strict laws. And if we do not know these laws, then we will make many mistakes and will not find what we are looking for - real satisfaction in life, real happiness. We will not achieve real success, we will not be held as a holistic harmonious personality. It is necessary to study the science of life, and also it is necessary to communicate with those who have experience of realization in this science. Real deep knowledge always comes from the individual, not from the books.
Prepared on the site vk.com