A man does not want children - a situation familiar to many. If in a relationship you are short-lived, then this is not surprising. Your other half is not yet ready to take on so much responsibility. But when a spouse with whom you have been together for more than one year refuses to continue the race, you should seriously think about the reasons!
Why a husband does not want a child: important reasons
If you just got married, and the husband refuses to immediately have a child, you can understand him. He wants to extend your honeymoon a bit. And early pregnancy can change everything. Perhaps he wants to travel a little with you, enjoy the minutes of intimate communication. And pregnancy, as you know, not all flows smoothly. Understand, your husband does not want a child now or at all. Although this issue many affect before the wedding. It is even better to discuss it early, so that there will be no mutual claims. The question of the protection or non-protection of spouses should be immediately.
If the husband does not want a child at all - this is a reason to think seriously. Maybe he has some dangerous disease that can be inherited, but you do not know about it? He alone in the family, does not love children. Doesn't he care about someone? But he cares about you. Or not?
He does not want difficulties crying baby, who will not give at night to sleep? Is he jealous of you before him? Ask the reason.
If this is just a fear of the new - not scary. Say that children grow up very quickly, and the future father will still worry that once he didn’t stroke his daughter’s head once again, didn’t teach her to swim or ride a bike. There are many examples in life when those who most said that they didn’t like small children become wonderful caring fathers.
How to change the situation if the husband does not want a second child?
The second child is an increased responsibility. Of course, there is a reason for experience, but you are not the first - not you are the last, look around. Now the number of large families is growing, and not just such where there are two of them. There is a son, why else daughter? Natural question. But there is an answer to it. Mom does not like to play football, she wants a helper and girlfriend at the same time.
Give your husband statistics that men do not talk about the heirs, they love girls more. After all, these gentle creatures need to be handled gently and tenderly. Daughters make dads softer, kinder and more attentive.
Same-sex children are also good, they will play with each other, and parents will have time for something else. Dad, maybe once again watch football on TV or meet with a friend. Grown-up friendly children will always find something to do, help each other with homework for the school, and in future adulthood they will become each other's support.
What to do when a spouse does not even want to hear about children?
If you understand the exact reason why the husband does not want the child, it will be easier for you to act.
If it's a spouse's illness, you have a choice: either childless life or divorce. It is not easy, but it happens.
If it's a matter of fear, you will fight it. Go to visit friends who have kids, watch family comedies, etc. Maybe you will even have to go to a psychologist, but men often ignore them. You have to apply all the power of persuasion!
Age is a very important moment. Explain to the husband that children need to try to start at a certain age, so that they are healthy and the parents have the strength to lift them to their feet. Give your husband to read the scientific articles, which tells about how dangerous pregnancy can be too late. She, for example, can cost the life of a mother.
Conceiving a baby secretly from the future of the father, who is sure that you are protected, is one of the options, but the consequences can be very different. The child must be desired and born in love, and if one of the spouses does not want him, this will not lead to anything good.
The fear of change is peculiar to any person. We are tied to our habits, a certain way of life. Remember this, if suddenly your husband refuses to have children. Show patience, understanding, try to talk more on this topic. Explain that the baby will not make you stop loving your spouse or spend little time with him. Make it clear that the child is your joint happy future, the fruit of your strong love!