Many parents, faced with a problem when the child does not want to learn, blame the child for it: “he is lazy,” “not interested in anything”, “he does everything the other way around”, “does not obey and ignores advice”, etc. Perhaps to get the desired result, you need to look at the situation from the other side and try to correct the problem together?
Why the child does not want to learn: possible reasons
In this case, unnecessary emotions are not needed, so try to calm down. Believe me, coping with difficulties is much easier in a balanced state. Moreover, the child should know and feel that his parent is a wise and confident person.
So, in order to find out the reason for the child’s unwillingness to study, in any case, do not pretend to be an investigator. If you ask the child: "Well, who did you fight again today?" or "What, your teacher is wrong again?" - You will not achieve anything good. It is very difficult for a child to remember the traumatic situation, and you also ask him to tell about it.
The conversation should not look planned. Try to start a conversation about school by chance. For example, watch together a film on this topic - this will allow you to talk about careless students, angry teachers and conflicts between students. Give your opinion on this or that situation and only after that ask about his affairs at school. Let the child tell you about teachers and classmates with a film as an example. What they are - better, worse, more attentive, etc. Perhaps from this conversation you can understand the reason and act further.
Reason number 1: quarrel with classmates
If you use physical or moral punishment for fights and quarrels in school, you will not be able to eliminate the cause of the conflict. The child will become more cunning and careful to avoid punishment in the future. What then to do?
- Try to accept the child’s feelings: “Are you very angry with Vanya?”.
- Specify how to lead yourself correctly: “If you didn’t like something, you could tell him about it, and not get into a fight.”
- Give your personal opinion, without insulting a child: "I am negative about fights."
- Describe your expectations: "I believe, next time you will solve the problem peacefully."
- Together, think about how to fix the situation: "If you are more friendly with your peers, they will not consider you a fighter."
Offer an alternative to a fight: in the event of a strong conflict brewing, rub into the air, showing your opponent that you are angry.
Reason number 2: conflicts with the teacher
Often parents ignore the feelings of the child, protecting the reputation of the teacher. And some agree with the opinion of the child, but also ignoring his feelings and not paying attention to the impartial reviews about their elders. Here's how to proceed in this case:
"I hate geography!" - “It looks like you are very angry” (accept the feelings of the child). “She gave me a deuce for forgetting the textbook” - “Yes, the situation is not pleasant (accept the method of active listening)”. "Would you like not to forget him?" (simulate the beginning of the alternative) - “Yes. I will now check the textbooks before going to school” (the child himself found a solution).
Reason number 3: boring things or laziness
Laziness is usually associated with the fact that the child is boring and uninteresting in the classroom. If he does not want to do his homework, especially in the 1st grade, the main task of the parent is to interest him in the educational process, as in something adventure, game and educational. Try to explain to the child that learning is a kind of game: you will pass one level, enter the more difficult, and so on. As a result, you need to emerge a winner. Inspire your child interest in the competition and be sure to encourage and praise for achievements.
In this case, in any case:
- Do not analyze, comparing his progress with the success of his peers, even if his achievements are at a higher level;
- Do not force the child to regularly repeat the slogan: “Learn, learn and learn again” - with this you can only aggravate the situation, causing a feeling of disgust for the process;
- Boost interest in unloved items with positive examples.
Reason number 4: difficult to get up in the morning
When a child wakes up with difficulty and gets up to school, many parents in such situations say: “It is necessary, then it is necessary!”, “And who asks you?”, “Do what they say to you”, etc. This is wrong. The child is very important to be understood. So, what should you do?
Ask a guiding question: "It seemed to me, or do you really not want to go to school?" The child will then most likely begin to complain and talk about what he is concerned about. Be sure to listen to him very carefully.
- Trying to share his feelings: "Indeed, getting up so early every day is very difficult."
- Show fantasy: "That would be great to wake up to 13.00, is not it?".
- The child will most likely object: "But then the lessons will end too late!"
- Ask a motivating question: "What, then, can be done?"
- And here is the answer: "Go to bed before."
Reason # 5: chronic fatigue and stress
Often the reason for reluctance to learn lies in great fatigue. If you do not pay attention to it, the child, having matured, may face diseases of the cardiovascular system. First, find out how tired he is. If physical, psychologists advise to free the student from additional classes - sports, music, etc.
Signs of mental fatigue include poor concentration of attention, confusion, incorrect or insufficient perception of material, etc. In this case, it is important that the child often walked in the fresh air, engaged in dancing, music, swimming. But from computer and board games, as well as crosswords, you need to give up for a while.
If the child does not want to learn, it is necessary to find out the reasons and, possibly, listen to the advice of the school psychologist. But that's not all! Remember that only your love and understanding can correct the problem. If the child trusts you, the situation will not get out of control and, accordingly, will not lead to negative consequences.