There is a topic that is not customary to discuss not only with a stranger, but even with close relatives. Oddly enough, it is not a question of intimacy, but the amount of income received.
Maybe someone will object to me: "But what about the constant conversations about the lack of money, about the small benefit for mothers or the disabled, about the meager pension?" That's the way it is, common talk rassusolivat. But very rarely does anyone recognize a specific income of himself or his spouse (s).
Look closely: small children grow up in a family where very often “no money” flashes or “we cannot buy it for you, it's empty in your wallet”. Then, at best, adolescents are given out of pocket expenses, and at worst, they are constantly reminded of a shortage of funds for study. At the same time, self-education and upbringing of an adult, who knows how to rationally manage their finances, is meant. But where will this skill come from ???
And now, in adulthood, everybody is perfectly able to say that "the boss gets a lot, and we get a little." Although when clarifying: "And how much?" either go away from the answer, or give vague numbers. Why is that? After all, since childhood they have been taught to say: “Not enough,” but no one has taught how to count and keep the family budget so that even “not enough” is enough.
Those who decided to go about their business, more often than others find topics for conversation, not related to finance. For a long time I could not understand what this is connected with until I closely communicated with the wife of an entrepreneur. A conversation with her suddenly revealed to me elementary things that I had never paid attention to before ...
In the end, she found for herself two explanations for the silence of the amount of profit:
- Your business does not always mean "big income". Initial promotion requires an infusion of forces and means. And interest is dropping on loans, and the rental price is rising, unforeseen expenses appear ... In such a situation, when a business has been completely at a loss for several months, I don’t want to admit to others in this situation. After all, this is equivalent to defeat! This means that they did not calculate it that way, did not start then, or did something wrong. To admit the absence or small income is almost like opening the valve of a large pipe with dirt. Only instead of liquid, the gloating can pour out of the mouth of the environment: "And we said that nothing would come out! But we only got in vain! There you can only by means of cronyism!"
- Getting a stable income suddenly begins to put businessmen on a bar higher than those with whom he has long been familiar. It would seem that nothing has changed, the character remains the same. But to confess to big profits suddenly begins to mean the humiliation of the interlocutor. Unjustified accusations sound similarly: "What, do you think turned out to be smarter? Or do you think that I am a fool and could not achieve more?". In fact, insecure people, who are used to always feeling like a “victim of circumstances,” aggressively attack someone who suddenly refused to sing the usual little “little money” song. Therefore, it is much quieter for an entrepreneur not to advertise the exact amounts so that there are no attacks.
- All is not well in the family. There is no close understanding and support. A man bringing money home, begins to worry about their lack. The wife is not always rationally spending the proceeds and, with full embezzlement, she starts accusing the husband of “starving the family”. Therefore, it is easier for him to give her in parts, in order to have enough, than to allow her to spend at once incomprehensibly on what, and then “bite her elbows” the remaining days. The same applies to the situation when a woman brings money into the house. The established stereotype that a man should be a “earner” puts his spouse in a situation of doubt in his skills. We have to keep quiet about all the costs associated with the house, just to not give the amount of their income.
Sometimes all these cases live one pair at different periods of life. But most often problems with finances arise due to elementary ignorance of the principles of their distribution. And it is worth more often to talk with your "half" to fully understand the current state of affairs. The family becomes stronger at the moment when all members of the family fully trust each other.
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