Noticed with what ecstasy girls play mothers? And when they grow up a little, they are happy to be interested in divination, to lift the veil of secrecy over the number of children in the future family. But some time passes and now the married lady does not want to continue after the birth of her first child ... What has changed? Maybe you should deal with the usual fears of married couples?
As practice shows, the most common reasons for refusing to become parents for the second time are the following.
Unplanned expenses on a first-born may confuse married couples. As soon as they understand that with the second “mouth” in the family will be added trouble, as the hands begin to fall. But mothers of large families can authoritatively argue! With the birth of a second child, expenses tend to increase slightly. If the difference between the children is small, then the stroller, cot, potty, clothes for the newborn, toys are transmitted by "inheritance". Something will have to buy more, but it will be a small waste compared with those that were previously.
The lack of desire of one of the parents
It is difficult to give any advice. Best of all, when children appear according to mutual desire, it is therefore not recommended to force events. Quite often you can hear from women: “Now, if I were sure that a girl was born, I agreed to the second pregnancy!”, And from men, “Now if a boy ...” As a result, spouses refuse to give up their second child, depriving their first child a potential brother or sister.
Negatives by relatives
Very difficult moment. On the one hand, your parents have the right to worry about your well-being. On the other - live for you! Should I trust them to make a decision for which you must be fully responsible? Yes, there was one extraordinary case with my friend. She and her husband came to his parents with the news about the first pregnancy. In response, I heard from my mother-in-law: "I do not want to be a grandmother!" Inside, everything went cold, but no one was going to get rid of the child. As a result, it turned out that the grandmother simply didn’t want to admit that the years had passed and she suddenly began to change her status ... Not that she was against her grandchildren, she just didn’t want others to call her grandmother. In this situation, the couple, despite such a strange reaction, gave birth to two children with a slight difference in age. Grandmas from both sides with great pleasure playing with their grandchildren, and nobody remembers that phrase ...
Sitting at home with the child, limit trips to friends and shopping, feel completely subordinate to the schedule of the day of the child - not every woman can withstand it! But, if you wish, you can always find a new hobby that will be compatible with the education of the crumbs. You can invite friends to your territory, where in the event of a pogrom you will not have to apologize to anyone. And if even close relatives are ready to help a little, then Mom will have some time left for a hairdresser, a dentist or a shopping trip. All these inconveniences are temporary. It should be a little baby grow up, as it can be given to the circle, in the kindergarten or in developmental activities. And then he will become more independent, ceasing to constantly keep mom at home.
Doubts in own love
Are hearts enough to love two children equally hotly? Does it not turn out that the elder will be forgotten about the younger one? How to allocate time for the husband when children take all attention to themselves? A lot of questions in my head, but do not worry so much! The heart is very deep and is able to contain the love of different people. You don't have to love your children the same way! They are completely different - it means that feelings towards them may differ. And for her husband there is always a place, there would be a desire ...
Ultimately, when kids grow up together, they are more interesting and more fun. And various difficulties can be experienced by a close-knit strong family!
Especially for womeninahomeoffice.com - Katbula