Psychologists distinguish two roles in a relationship - a leader and an addict, of course, this is not always clearly expressed, but such relationships are more often found than equal rights. Many women wonder how to find a balance in a couple and give their love properly. Why, when you give a man too much of his love, without demanding anything in return, then nothing good comes out of it, and the man withdraws? And if you start to take care of your feelings, do not show them as soon as possible, then the man begins to show his activity.
But here it is worth making a small reservation: love can not be given too much. It is strange to give a person love, and in return to receive indifference or discontent. And if you give a partner not love, but something else, then you can get just such a reaction. And when such a situation arises, the woman does not understand what is happening, why, in response to an increase in love, the man only moves away. In extreme situations, this can even lead to a rupture, so what's the reason? And the fact is that love woman often replaces other feelings - sacrifice and pity. They often become the destroyers of relationships.
Pity in a relationship
In childhood, everyone is told that pity equals love, regret - it means love. This is especially true of girls, whose mothers and compassionate grandmothers feel sorry for every little thing. Only here to explain the fact that true love is not regrets and lamentations, relatives forget to explain to a child. Love, when it is mixed with pity, no longer fulfills its main purpose - to give joy and warmth to another.
Care and attention are given simply from a pure heart, simply because you want to make a person near at least a little bit happier. When a woman gives her love to a man whom she truly loves, she becomes incredibly attractive and sexy. The feeling of pity is always filled with an element of suffering and non-sexual aura, or rather maternal instinct. A man becomes not a lover and not a desirable partner, but a little boy who needs protection. That is, a woman simply ceases to be a beloved companion, and becomes a mom, seeking to control her child.
Such a development of relationships keeps a woman away from her destiny in relationships and oppresses a man. When a man fails, the woman starts behaving like a mother, judging her son. She and his pity, but with good intentions, she pushes her son to action. You can get out of this situation only by realizing your role in the relationship and remembering that you are a woman.
A man dreams of a woman who would express his love without a drop of pity. Of course, his companion wants to see her man active, creative, capable of new accomplishments, but she achieves all this, inspiring the man, but not condemning and not controlling.
But how to inspire a man? To begin with, you should feel your feminine beginning, get inspiration from yourself For example, a man has trouble at work, no need to reproach him for it and all the more regret it. If you want to regret someone, have pity on children, pets, or, as a last resort, yourself, but not a man. A man is required from a woman unconditional faith in his strength, not pity. Love your man - it means no doubt that he will be able to do everything and everything will be able, because he is strong. Do I need to feel sorry for a strong man? Correctly not necessary, because he himself perfectly cope with everything. But to encourage a strong man with his affection, tenderness and love is very necessary!
Sacrifice is giving love in a very strange way., while giving all in return, if only the object of love is not gone and out of love. In any relationship, it is important to receive and give, but if you give much more than you receive, this is sacrifice. Before making a return in such large quantities, you should ask yourself, do the partners need such victims? When we fill a person with ourselves at a certain moment, it can be seen that there is nothing left to give, our inner content has dried up.
Why is sacrificial love so dangerous? A woman forgets about herself as a person, completely dissolves in a man and stops indulging in her desires and interests. You can often find such phrases from women: “I do everything for you, but you don’t appreciate it,” “I spent all my youth and beauty on you,” “For the sake of you I left work and follow the farm”. A woman has become a shadow of her man, and a man, of course, always wants to see with her an interesting harmoniously developed personality. If you look, then the sacrifice and next is not worth it with love.
Sacrifice is an expectation that, in return, the partner will do the same for you. But if a partner is not in a hurry to do something for you or does it differently than a woman wants, then this is where the omissions and claims begin. The manifestation of sacrifice indicates the presence of low self-esteem in humans. A person who loves himself will not push all his interests and desires aside, but will find a middle ground between his ego and the bestowal of love. So it turns out that a woman donates, and in return she does not receive anything from her partner, because she does not give love. Love is given free of charge, with all my heart and without demanding anything in return, that's when the partner will want to make you happy and show your feelings.
Pity and sacrifice do not lead to anything good in a relationship. These feelings devastate a woman, make her faceless for a partner, while the beloved woman is, above all, the muse and inspiration for the man. Love can only be given by an internally filled person who has something to give. Love that is given to a partner without admixture of possession, expectations and fear will not go unnoticed, but for this you need to learn to give such love.
Especially for womeninahomeoffice.com.ru- Natella