An egoist is a person who is completely self-oriented, for him there is nothing more important than his own interests, and he always puts his opinions and plans in the first place. At first glance, it seems, well, what is so terrible here, because we are all, to one degree or another, selfish and this is unlikely to interfere with real feelings. But once we are ourselves in a relationship with an egoist, we understand how painful and heavy such relationships are, and the duration of their duration depends on how much a woman has enough patience to continue them.
How to recognize an egoist?
- I am always right- This is the slogan of all egoists. Ever since childhood, they have built an unshakable picture of the world for themselves, and if something or someone does not fit into it, then they simply try to eliminate it or pass by their ears. Therefore, egoists are very easily identified in a dispute, they dismiss any point of view that contradicts his opinion, even if everyone around sees him wrong. If you start to defend your point of view, he will consider it as an attempt on his inner space and a scandal cannot be avoided.
- My life my rules: another selfish motto. He will always strive to do what is convenient for him, to meet in his spare time, talk only about his own problems and walk and rest where he likes. Yes, of course, he sometimes makes compromises too, otherwise without this relationship, they would have long disintegrated, but at every opportunity he will remember about it and talk about how much he does for you. And if you dare to tell him that you are not going to continually indulge his interests, he will immediately say that you are insensitive and do not appreciate his concern.
- Gifts and attention beloved woman - this is not about him. The egoist does not earn by the sweat of his brow in order to put all his fortune at the feet of a woman, even if he is beloved and only. He would rather buy himself a new car or begin to set aside for his own house than he thoughtlessly squander everything on flowers and trinkets. And in such his actions, the egoist will be absolutely sincere, his credo is that if I am not interested in a woman by himself, as he is, he will not be interested in gifts, all these courtships and flowers for the notorious and insecure individuals.
- The egoist will never put the significance of love and relationships first. The egoist loves himself, his inner and outer content, which means he has no doubt that in the event of a break he will find himself a no less worthy woman. If you dare to part with such a successful and attractive man, then these are your problems, but not him.
- Women themselves often “educate” egoists.The egoism of selfishness is different, and the extent to which it will develop in a man depends on his companion. You can talk day and night about what a scoundrel and a goat he is, silently saving up his insults and enduring all his antics. If a woman reconciles with this for a long time, then this does not mean that she loves so much, which means that this situation suits her. She likes to be in the shadow of the cunning egoist, to adapt to him and indulge his whims. Although even the most fastidious egoist with time can become bored with such humility.
But you can still turn the situation the other way and stop behaving as he wants. Go back to the very beginning of your relationship, no one yet knew what role each of you would take in the relationship and you were equal. But since he now behaves in this way, it means that you allowed him to do it, no more, no less. Maybe you rushed headlong to his meeting, forgetting about your free time, always listened to any tediousness and discontent, watched only his favorite movie and went to all the matches of his favorite football team ...
You were so in love at that moment that you did not notice that for some reason he was in no hurry to please you with something or could not take time off from work when you need his help. Or maybe he somehow expressed to you the theory that he would build a serious relationship with a woman in which he would see a good future wife who would sit and wait for him near the window, do everything in housekeeping and build his life only near his interests. You, in fear of losing him, tried to get as close as possible to his ideal, thinking that he would appreciate it and consider you the best woman on earth. And what did you get in the end? Coldness and indifference on his part, when all he had to do was just say “no”, “I don't want” or even threaten to leave at the right moment, then he would understand that you are a person and your opinion should also be considered.
For example, when you come to a store or beauty salon, you expect that you will be offered your services now, but you don’t have any idea to offer your help to them, this is strange and absurd. In the same way, we build our love relationships according to a specific scenario. And if your companion behaves selfishly, then this is your fault. Psychologists claim that unsure girls behave this way, who think that if they behave the way their partner wants, he will definitely appreciate it and make some concessions to her. But he no longer sees the point of going to meet the wishes of his beloved, so everything is fine with him.
Even the most notorious egoists love self-respecting girls, moderately capricious, who know how to love, but who will never go against their principles and interests for the sake of a partner. Then the egoist sees in the girl not just an object for his manipulations, but an equal partner, also moderately selfish, and begins to build interesting and compromise relations with such a woman.
Fighting partner egoism: put yourself first
The point is not that it is also worthwhile to be selfish, but to do what is best for you. If you constantly give in to your partner, will this make you better, will you be happy? No, then do as you see fit. Trying to always act in accordance with your desires, do not drive into the rigid framework of your partner and do not put ultimatums to him.
For example, you want to go to the long-awaited premiere of the film. Tell your loved one that you would be very pleased to go with him, but if he is busy or does not want, then you will still go. It’s not important with a girlfriend or one to go, it’s important that you want it, which means you’ll do it, and there’s no “obligation” for a partner.
Talk openly about your desires
Men are not able to guess the differences in women's mood, so if something is not to like, speak clearly and to the point. If you do not have enough attention from him, just say so, you want you to spend more time together, say so. If a partner has feelings for you, you will definitely listen and try, if not to the maximum, but at least improve a little. If even after your hints and open requests, he does nothing, then either accept the fact that he is like this, or have patience. An egoist man is a long-established personality and it is difficult for him to rebuild himself, but nothing is impossible and even an egoist can convey how you want to see your relationship.
See also: Why does a man ignore a woman he likes?
In the end, in a healthy egoism, a man has nothing to fear and everything can be viewed from a positive point of view. He works all the time, and you spend little time together, it means that your family will not need anything in the future, he does not buy you gifts, this is also not a reason to be upset, most likely he will spend this money to buy equipment for you or repair of the car in which you also often drive. There are also extremely neglected cases of egoism, it is better not to get involved with such men and run away from them at the very initial stage of the relationship, but still, most of the male egoists are educable.
Especially for womeninahomeoffice.com.ru- Natella