A woman who marries always hopes that her marriage will be the happiest, and she and her husband will live happily ever after. But, unfortunately, the statistics of divorces are implacable. Let's try to figure out how to part with her husband "without losing face", and how in the future build a relationship with an ex-husband. This question is particularly relevant if the family has a child.
Give time to yourself and ex-husband
Give yourself and your ex-husband time. During this period of time you should calm down, think about everything, and understand that this man is for you, now, the former. It is not necessary to meet immediately after the divorce. By this you only spoil the nerves of yourself and your ex. Give yourself time to calm down, bring thoughts in order.
After you cool down (and it will happen not earlier than in a couple of months), make an appointment with your ex-husband to discuss the future life.
Depression after divorce
You should not fall into a deep depression, start to engage in self-digging. In such situations, as a rule, you will only come to the conclusion that you are to blame for everything. No one argues with the fact that you need to cry and speak out. In the role of a vest, for you, can serve as a mother, girlfriend or sister. But promise yourself that you will cry once. Otherwise, you prolong depression. Help you tips from the article How to survive after a divorce?
Shared children with ex-husband
- It does not follow tune your common child against dad. No need to tell the kid that dad is bad. In the end, dad did you badly, but not the child. And for the child his dad will always be the best. Baby, it’s best to think that you broke up because you simply did not want to live together anymore, and not because one of the parents was bad.
- Try hard by all means keep in touch the child is the father. Psychologists have long concluded that, for the normal development of the child, he needs to communicate with both parents. Besides, whether you like it or not, Dad will forever remain in the life of the baby.
- Your the ex-husband has the same parental right to communicate with the child, like you. Except when the father is deprived of parental rights. But it is rather a rarity.
- Do not think that only you need support. At least you know the reason for the divorce. And your child, who has believed all his life that dad and mom love each other, is experiencing stress of divorce. In addition, many children, upon divorcing their parents, may consider that they are guilty of something. For example, behaved badly.
Shared relatives with ex-husband
Of course, when you divorce, your ex-husband’s mom is no longer your mother-in-law. And the husband's brother is the mistress. But this does not mean that they, in the same turn, became former grandmother and uncle.
They also love the child, as before. Yes, maybe you have a good relationship with them. It is completely useless to interrupt this relationship. Do not give up help grandparents from the father's side. With this you can not prove anything to anyone.
Even if your relations, for example, with the mother in law did not exist, still do not tune the child against it. Do not interfere with their meetings. When the child grows up, he will figure out the situation himself, and decide with whom he should communicate, and with whom - no.
How to build a relationship with your ex-husband?
- First of all, get rid of the illusion that the relationship can still be returned. Even if you meet to discuss any issues, this does not mean that the relationship will return. You should not let your ex-husband have sex, or agree with his proposal about it. By this you will only spread the wound even more.
- When you meet with your ex-husband, you should not discuss your relationship or, especially, indulge in joint pleasant memories of former family life. Talk only about work, children and plans for the future.
- If your husband's relatives do not mind, you can continue to communicate with them. After all, over the years of close intercourse, they can become closer to you own relatives.
How to build a relationship with your ex-husband, if you are colleagues?
If you working with your ex-husband, the situation is much more complicated. But it can be transferred. Try to see as little as possible. It is not necessary to discuss your ex-husband or your family life with colleagues. From gossip nobody was good. If the colleagues themselves show unhealthy curiosity - politely but firmly stop all attempts to interfere in your personal life.
Divorce ispainful and insulting. But time does not stand still. Life is changing, and you can be sure that even greater happiness lies ahead of you!
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