Unfortunately, today, very There are many families in which a child is raised by only one parent. This is sad and sad. The child is hard, because for his normal development he needs both parents. BUT a parent who is raising a child alone - It is hard for the reason that a double load falls on his shoulders - for himself and the second parent, who is not.
How to raise a normal child in an incomplete family? How to make it grow up a full member of society, and just a good person?
Basics of raising a child in an incomplete family
It is worth starting with the fact that situations are different. Alone families become incomplete due to divorce parents. The second - because one of the parents dies or dies. Still others - initially incomplete, in the case when the mother decides to give birth "for herself." Each of these situations, the child carries in different ways.
When the pope was not originally, up to five years there are no questions about him. And when they come to him. For the first time, a simple explanation is enough. The main thing - that it was true. You should not tell the child that his dad is a pilot hero who died on an airplane test. Sooner or later, the child will know the truth, and you will lose his trust forever.
When dad was and once left forever or died, the child is much harder to cope with the injury. After all, he remembers his father. Is bored. If the child is small, it is very difficult for him to explain why dad will never come again. But you and only you can and should help the child cope with his first life injury - the loss of a loved one.
Do not rush to extremes. Do not need excessive severity - try to replace father. After all, if you take on the functions of the father, who will take on the functions of the mother? But you should not indulge the child in everything. At best, you need to try to find a middle ground.
Love single mother
A child, especially one raised in an incomplete family, She urgently needs maternal warmth, love and tenderness. Do not push him away from yourself, inventing an excuse for yourself, he needs you now.
Sometimes, it is worth thinking about a new marriage. Perhaps, having regained his father, the child will again feel the balance and harmony that he lacked.
Exists four important facets for the proper upbringing of a child in an incomplete family.
one. Mutual communication with the child. It is very important. After all, when there were two parents - two and a little talked with the child. And now only you communicate a little. Because you work for two, cook, erase. This is all clear. But, wanting to grow a good man, it is necessary to take the time to communicate with the child. Ask about his progress in kindergarten, school. Tell how your day went.
2 Social studies. In principle, it is close to any mother. Indeed, despite the fact that the father is present in the family or not, it is the mother who most often teaches the child the basic skills. She teaches him to walk, to talk. She reads fairy tales, feeds. It also helps to add cubes. But, most importantly, with the departure from your life of the father of the child, the habit of adapting the child to the outside world is not lost.
3 Emotional needs. A child more than an adult needs emotions. His important hug, smile, a manifestation of tenderness. Yes, it is physically hard to raise a child alone, where would the time for tenderness come from ?! But at least enough half an hour a day to give an emotional connection with the child, then he will not feel abandoned. If you are divorced with the father of the child, then do not be afraid to show your child your true emotions. Do not hide the tears. Let him rather see the sadness in your eyes, than he will think that you are not upset, that you do not care.
four. The inclusion of the child in public life. The child must imagine what life is. Know the basic norms of behavior. Know the rules of communication with other people. You must teach him this. Otherwise, someone will do it before you. And not the fact that the right and well done.
There are certain sex frames. That is, back in preschool age, you should closely monitor the child's behavior, for what he does. Because it is at this age that the further life of the child is laid. And if your girlfriend played all her childhood with typewriters, glued models together, then as an adult she could very well be masculine. A boy, quietly in the corner fingering stickers, can grow infantile.
Rules for raising children in an incomplete family
- Never you should not set up a child against your father. And to say that father was bad. Because such behavior can, over time, raise a complex in a child - he was born from a bad person, which means he himself is a bad one.
- Talk to your child more often. Teach him to trust you. Listen to your child. Even listen to it. What seems to you unimportant and frivolous. He will appreciate it. Show that you are interested in what is happening to him. How is he doing in the garden or school.
- More often praise him. But not for nothing and not for every little thing. Praise the qualities that the child actually possesses. By underlining them, you help these qualities strengthen in the child.
- If a child often remembers the past, do not quit it. Acknowledge that it is his right to remember. If he wants to speak out - listen.
- The child, of course, needs new toys and books and a lot more, but there is nothing more precious than your affection and words of love. Therefore, do not try to pay off the child with gifts. It is better to build emotional contact.
- Remember that baby it is always necessary to take an example from someone, to know how to behave in any given situation. And most of all, the person from whom he will be taken is you. Therefore, set an example for your child. Do as you would like him to do when he grows up.
- Think who can help you in raising a child. Perhaps these are your parents, the grandparents of the child. Perhaps some other relatives. Immediately determine the circle of those people with whom you would like your child to communicate. And cut off all those with whom, in your opinion, communication will not benefit the child.
Remember, put the question: "What kind of child should be?" "How do I want to see him?" - fundamentally wrong. We need to do it this way: “What should I give a child for him to grow up like this?” Think about this question.
Most importantly, an unhappy parent can never raise a happy child. Therefore, you should be happy, at least for the sake of the child! And your maternal intuition, intuition and love will help you in the matter of raising a child!
Good luck and love!
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