Marriage for love or by calculation

Marriage of convenience ... As soon as we hear this phrase, negative associations immediately appear in our heads - this is immoral, but what about feelings? No one, of course, will give guarantees that a marriage of convenience will develop in the most successful way, as however, there are no guarantees that a marriage of great love will be happy. What are marriages usually built on and what comes out of it?

Passion Based Marriages

Passion-based marriages are usually hasty and thoughtless.. A couple in love under the influence of hormones does not think about what awaits them further, and their relationships are often built only on sex. Sexual attraction is certainly good, but it does not help build a life and a strong family. Moreover, the presence of passion between partners does not yet indicate the presence of love between them, but how long does a passion usually last? A year, two no more, and then what? If there is no love, common interests, then gradually people will begin to feel that they are strangers to each other. Therefore, it is very stupid to immediately run to the registry office under the influence of hormones - you first need to understand whether this person is close to you not only physically, but also spiritually.

Passion-based marriages also have chances to exist. The couple already has an important part of the relationship - sexual attraction, and now they have to work a lot on their relationships, learn to hear and understand each other. And if they manage to find a balance and understand that besides sex there are other important aspects of the relationship, then from such a couple you can make quite a strong family.

Great love marriages

Tenderness, tremulousness, complete dissolution in a partner, the desire to constantly be around ... But then again, is it important for family life? Love overtakes both and narrows their world view to the limits of a partner, at first it seems very sweet and romantic. Gradually, in such a relationship, the role of prohibitions begins to prevail - if you love me, you will not go there, if I am important to you, then you will stop communicating with this person. Everyone in the pair agrees and concedes, explaining it with great love. But all these prohibitions and concessions are just for the time being, each person wants to consider himself to be considered a free person, and not a bird in a cage.

Love is love, but when it limits a person to such an extent, it becomes a heavy duty. Who would love to sacrifice themselves to a partner for life? No one, because love is the acceptance of a person as it is. Ultimately, partners seek to break free from these shackles, and because of this, mutual grievances and offenses may occur.

You can often hear such phrases: "I have devoted all my life to you, and you do not appreciate it," "I work for the whole family like a damned one." A person believes that he sacrifices himself for the sake of a partner, for the sake of a family, not realizing that the family, first of all, implies partnership and love within its reasonable limits.

Marriage is inevitable

There are such couples who tied the bonds of marriage not because of feelings, but simply because the time came, and they chose the most suitable person from their environment. In his youth, it seems that the prince is about to come to us and take him to a magical country, but the years are flying, but the prince is not there, and then the woman decides to marry in order to feel secure and stable.

This is more like a marriage of convenience, but somehow it all sounds very sad. As the great Omar Khayyam said: "You better starve than what you eat, And better be alone than with anyone." The feeling that someone is there and can support it is nice, but still each of us is not a robot and wants to experience feelings, and not to live with a person, because it is necessary.

Calculation is more lasting than love

The calculation here is not in the sense that everyone sees in a partner only their own benefit, but that both lived together for a while and perfectly imagine what kind of person they are and how they could live together in marriage, trying to find a compromise. Each partner does not sit on the ground, but develops, makes his own career and at the same time they can rarely see each other, do not make claims to each other over inattention, but at the same time each of them is happy in marriage and always tries to listen to the interests of the partner. In a difficult situation, they are always ready to help each other, but never give a hard ultimatum and therefore enjoy life, getting all the advantages of marriage and at the same time, without losing the advantages of a free life.

The calculation is different, for example, a woman, when married, can see in a man a good father to her children, a faithful reliable husband, or a workaholic who will bring all the money to the family. And this is not a cold miscalculation or cynicism, but concern for your future. An intelligent woman will choose a more stable, lifetime man for his companions for the rest of her life, to whom she probably does not feel a storm of feelings than that with which she has a mad passion, but instead of actions, only empty promises come from him.

Naturally, marriage of convenience presupposes that partners have mutual sympathy. Sympathy, companionship, likeness of opinion do not yet guarantee that this marriage will be successful, but the partners will already be at least comfortable and pleasant with each other. By the way, mutual sympathy, respect often develop into love. There are a lot of cases when a man married a girl, saw a good housewife in her, and only then fell in love with her, or when a woman married an unloved man because of his reliability, and later realized that she could not find a man. As they say, “I can endure love”, but to be honest, the right calculation and love are very close!

Common interests bring together

One of the secrets of family happiness is to have a common hobby. It doesn’t matter whether it’s skydiving or cooking, the main thing is that both of them have their eyes alight. Not only does the time spent actively bring the two together, everyone also has an opinion that, since this person is interested in the same things that I mean, he is suitable for me.

What is the conclusion of all this? And it is not, as there is no recipe for a happy family life, which would fit all. But there is one important rule in relationships: observe the right balance of feelings and reason, then there will be much less problems.

Especially for womeninahomeoffice.com.ru- Natella

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