Every loving person at least once in his life has encountered such a strong and breathtaking feeling as jealousy. Few of us know what this feeling is and why it arises. Often it is jealousy that destroys the relationship between the opposite sex. That is jealousy and how to fight it wisely, we will talk in our article.
Dealing with jealousy: the advice of a psychologist
Jealousy is peculiar not only to women, but also to men. Even children at an early age already show such a feeling. They show their importance, compare themselves with peers. Where does such an insidious feeling come from that eats us from the inside?
The answer to this question will be given by any qualified psychologist, but in each case the causes of the appearance of jealousy are purely individual. If you are faced with such a feeling, try to neutralize it urgently. The sooner you cope with this deadly state, the better it will be for you and your partner.
Many women compare themselves with potential rivals, look for flaws, try to catch the spouse in imaginary infidelity. In no case can this be done, because you are driving yourself into a psychological trap.
Psychologists identify several causes of jealousy:
- distrust of your partner;
- lack of self-love;
- lack of confidence;
- psychological trauma in childhood, etc.
If you feed only the most light, sincere and tender feelings towards your partner, then there can be no jealousy. Jealousy and love are the opposite. You must be aware that jealousy, especially systematic, will destroy even long-lasting and ideal relationships.
What to do to not get into the zealous network? Let's listen to the advice of psychologists:
- Do not try to constantly read notations or roll up tantrums to your life partner. The probability that he will hear and understand you is almost nil. But the fact that you will become the object of his irritation can be said with 100% certainty.
- Everyone has the right to personal space. It is not necessary to spend with your chosen one 24 hours a day. You should not forget about your interests, friends, relatives, hobbies.
- Respect the beloved man. He is the same person with a set of habits, attitudes, principles and shortcomings, like you.
- Pay attention only to the merits of your companion. After all, you love him the way he is. Do not try to remake it - it should become an axiom of love relationships.
- Try to trust your partner, do not make baseless scandals and jealousy scenes. Love is a confidential and pure feeling. If you do not trust your partner, then you can doubt your love.
- Try to resolve all disputed issues only together within your abode. No wonder our ancestors said that we should not take out the dirty linen from the hut.
- Do not believe gossip. Happiness, as you know, loves silence, and evil languages have always been enough in our society. If you have doubted your partner, try to frankly talk about what worries you.
- Do not force your chosen one to do what he does not like. If he does not like to go shopping with you and wait for two hours at the fitting room, try to take it as a given. Shopping can be done with a friend, mother or sister.
- Try not to criticize your man. Few of the representatives of the strong half of humanity constructively perceive criticism from the woman. This can seriously hit his ego and, as a result, your relationship.
- Do not play Stirlitz: do not search his pockets, do not rummage in personal belongings and especially do not read the messages in his phone. You also do not need to ask what beauty is hidden under the name Tire or Help Desk in his phone book.
- Try to surprise your chosen one every day. You'll see, after a while it will become a habit and you will certainly like this role.
- Do not reach your man sincere conversations. If he wants to dedicate you to his affairs, plans, or to tell you about feelings and desires, he will certainly do it without hints.
- Do not show your helplessness. Remember, you are a completely independent and independent person. Men love these women, although rarely admit it.
To get rid of jealousy, love yourself, trust your partner. Well, if you chose him and entrusted his life to him, then pay tribute, let your companion be rewarded with peace and tranquility in your family nest.
Some women think that you need to be jealous, because this feeling allows you to once again tell your partner about love. With this, of course, it is possible to argue, but to defuse and inject color into your personal life sometimes, but only very rarely, you can be jealous. And remember that jealousy is different. Tantrums, breaking dishes and screaming will gradually kill your feelings and attitudes, but tactful hints or ambiguous phrases can provoke your chosen one. Despite the fact that men are associated with titanic power, they all love it when women need them and show it.
Oh, this jealousy! What should women do?
Jealousy is a feeling that is more familiar to women. This is primarily due to the fact that men are secretive. Often, women wonder how to deal with jealousy of her husband. Psychologists about this also give a number of tips:
- Love and jealousy are inseparable feelings. They are companions of any relationship. To understand how to deal with jealousy and possessiveness, you need to communicate frankly with your chosen one and, as they say, dot the i.
- Listen to your partner, respect his opinions and interests.
- Communicate more with each other and try to talk in time about urgent problems, not harboring resentment and anger, otherwise the principle of a snowball will not work in your favor.
- You should sincerely talk about your feelings, but in no case do not shift the blame on your chosen one. Feel the difference between the words: "You are guilty" and "It was unpleasant for me."
- If you have been informed about infidelity of a spouse or a new young colleague, do not rush into the pool with your head, reason sensibly and rationally, it is better to check everything and ask your man. Otherwise you will look ridiculous in his eyes.
- Increase your self-esteem, because jealousy originates in those people who are not confident in themselves and their abilities.
With the constant manifestation of pathological, titanic jealousy, be prepared for the fact that your relationship will perish. Love is identified with trust, comfort and tranquility. A pledge of long-term relationships and a strong family - respect, trust, love, understanding and communication. Be happy and do not let jealousy break into your life!