Jealous means loving? But then why so many divorces, quarrels and partings precisely because of this "indicator" of love? As a result of this disease, both parties suffer: the one who is jealous and the one who is jealous. Jealousy goes along with passion. And the more passionate the passion, the more jealous. Some are jealous with such enthusiasm that it seems as if they are getting some moral satisfaction from this, they like to be jealous, they want it.
Nature of jealousy
Jealousy can be compared to pepper. In a small amount, the dish acquires the extraordinary flavor of this spice, makes the image of the finished dish complete, complete. But it is worth a little to go overboard with him ... and everything ... is already impossible to eat, because the pepper will just burn everything. No wonder the works of world classics are devoted precisely to this feeling - REALITY. It is still impossible to accept the fact that the Moor of Othello strangled Desdemona! But let's not talk about horrors.
Psychoanalysts from different countries agree that jealousy is fueled by the subconscious fear of losing the object of our lust. There is such a logical chain: jealousy does not appear without a reason, which means that there are suspicions, and maybe evidence that he (she) sympathizes with the other (other). And here such wave of feelings and experiences rolls in! Any more or less experienced woman knows that at least sometimes you need to give a man jealous of herself. After all, if your man will not see that other men pay attention to you, he may be visited by the thought that "If nobody pays attention to her, then why should I?" Jealousy is needed to play blood. Men just turned on the female beauty. And this does not mean that they are all aesthetes and connoisseurs of the beautiful. The fact is that a woman becomes part of the image of a man. A beautiful woman is the same integral part of a successful man as a good car, expensive watches, and prestigious work. No wonder there is a saying: "If you want to know what a man is - look at his woman." Men are leaders by nature, and must constantly feel superior to their rivals. Thus, seeing that other men are interested in you, and you stay with him, his self-esteem rises at the same time and there is a feeling of jealousy with and without reason.
AND how to be with such a man who is constantly jealous?
First you need to look at your behavior, maybe you yourself give your man this very reason for jealousy (super short skirts, frank dresses, deep cleavage constantly). Some men calmly refer to this appearance of their companion, and some just lose their temper. Therefore, it still depends on your behavior in society. If you evaluate yourself, you still found something that makes your man dissatisfied with you, then you need to go through self-control and self-discipline to harmonize your relationship. Provided, of course, that you still value these relationships and want their further development. But what if he continues to be jealous without a reason? It is worth thinking about whether you are ready to live all your life with this person, live your whole life in suspense and think about his attitude to one or another of your deeds, words; Are you ready to be under his full control? This is of course an extreme, but it occurs. If you need this person, then you should fight for him. If he worries because you are late at work, then call and warn him about it, tell him that he is good, emphasize his virtues, say that you are happy with him, dedicate him to your plans . But this "struggle" should not be one-sided. Talk to your man, he must himself want to change, point out his lack, let him control himself, let him call his mind for help. When a person realizes that jealousy causes only negative emotions, and that the response is a consequence of his words and actions, then the jealous man will change his behavior and get the desired effect.
How to get rid of jealousy?
It is impossible to completely get rid of jealousy, but it is necessary to achieve such composure and endurance, under which you will never fall to rudeness and bitterness. In severe cases, specialist assistance is needed. V.L. Levy (doctor of medicine and psychology) advised couples suffering from the jealousy of one of the spouses to put jealousy on stream, to make it a daily duty, for example compulsory showdowns for 20-30 minutes every evening. In this case, it is impossible to repeat, it is necessary to bring more and more new arguments and confirmation of infidelity of the spouse, to do this in a diverse, inspiring and regular way. After a few weeks or months, the process of “jealousy” bothers you, stocks of arguments are exhausted, and jealousy of “duty” no longer causes so much emotion and does not lead to ambitious quarrels. Understand that spoiling relationships is easy. And with the help of jealousy it can be easier than easy.
Trust your loved ones as they trust you to live a long and happy life together.
Especially for womeninahomeoffice.com - Michael