Modern people tend to forget about the traditions and customs that have developed in ancient times. But still, some of them caught on. Of course, they have already undergone changes due to the passage of time. However, much has remained unchanged. One of these "survivors" rites is matchmaking. But how many people know how to hold it right ...
Matchmaking bride in Russia
In essence, matchmaking is an acquaintance of a potential groom with the parents of the future wife. This process also included earlier discussion of conditions and intentions in marriage. We must know (or at least guess) that men are timid and shy people. Because of this fact, the stronger sex was not thrilled to go to such important events alone.
Therefore, there is a tradition to send more relatives (older men) for the company. The matchmakers entered the house as if by accident, but at the same time, the bride’s family made subtle hints about the purpose of their arrival. Of course, the receiving party understood all these jokes and perfectly understood and tried to respond with the same!
Pokrov was considered in Russia the best time for the performance of this rite. It was undesirable to embark on Wednesdays, Fridays and the thirteenth numbers (they say, an unfavorable time for wedding troubles). It was believed that on the way to the bride, the matchmakers should not talk to anyone in order to save the bride and the groom from the evil eye.
Not every matchmaking ended successfully. When the bride had a great dowry and attractive appearance, her family had to visit her two or even three times. Most often, this did not scare the matchmakers. Sometimes the family of the bride could quite unexpectedly visit the groom's house to appreciate what the matchmakers were offering to their daughters. If the candidacy was soon approved, then representatives of both sides should have certainly sat down at the table. At the same time they ate the loaf that the matchmakers brought with them, or the owners of the house regaled the guests with a specially baked cake. At such feasts and appointed the date of engagement and wedding.
How to woo a bride in our time?
Modern matchmaking, of course, is very different from the traditions of the past. It has lost the "effect of surprise" and is rather practical. Nowadays, the groom takes the initiative in his hands, initially offering the girl a hand and a heart and receiving consent or refusal. If he agrees, he visits the bride's house at a certain time. The girl and her parents are preparing to receive a dear guest, set the table, prepare various dishes and put alcoholic beverages on the table.
The bridegroom, in turn, also needs to not fall face down in the dirt and appear in the bride’s house with empty hands. The presence of chocolates, boxes of chocolates, bottles of good wine and, of course, flowers is especially welcomed for the mother of the bride and the beloved.
The process of modern matchmaking does not stop at this. After the groom has visited the house of the bride, she should pay a return visit. The girl also should not forget about the small presents to the parents of her beloved. Flowers for mom and a bottle of high-quality alcohol for dad - perfect. If your parents live far away, do not forget to send them photos with your happy smiles that will surely please them.
After the negotiations, you can apply to the registrar. Then you should arrange a meeting with parents. This is necessary not only for closer acquaintance. You all have to solve organizational issues related to the wedding.
After this "meeting" young people can safely declare their engagement. Relatives and close friends are usually invited to this celebration. The groom makes the bride an offer and gives the ring that the bride should wear before the wedding.
Some rules for the groom in the matchmaking of the bride
- A more expensive bouquet needs to be bought for the future mother-in-law, a bit simpler - for the bride.
- Your appearance should be much better than usual. For this visit you need to prepare very carefully.
- Do not give too expensive gifts! You do not want to pass for a sycophant.
- When talking with his father, it is better to abandon the excessive use of alcohol.
- You should not show your negative sides to potential relatives. In the end, your future life depends on this meeting.
Although this rite took on domestic coloring, they should not be neglected. Any parent will be pleased to know that his opinion is considered to be respected. Behave yourself naturally, without flaunting your flaws, and you are guaranteed success!