Few people think about divorce, when all is well, and it is difficult to imagine your life without a loved one. But time puts everything in its place: someone's paths are even closer together, and someone's - on the contrary, diverge. And it is hardly worth taking it as a tragedy, rather, it is a new direction in life.
When emotions subside, many divorced couples admit that their Divorce was the only correct way out. Only when this all happens, it is not always possible to reason soberly, only unbearable pain and a terrible emptiness is felt, which cannot be filled.
A man after a divorce resembles a chair with three legs, he seems to be standing, but only very shaky and uncertain. This is especially true of couples who have lived for a long time in marriage and felt themselves one with their partner, and now they will have to learn to live anew. It is difficult, but you need to pull yourself together and do not allow "limp".
What scares you after a divorce?
Look your fear in the eyes. What scares you most in the fate of a divorced woman? Are you afraid of loving someone again and again being deceived, abandoned or unloved? Have you heard many times from men cynical expressions that a married woman is a “second-rate product”? You are no longer at such a young age, and you realize that you are noticeably inferior to younger and more beautiful girls? Or maybe you are afraid to inflict a traumatized child and the fact that he will grow up inferior without paternal care? Or maybe you are perfectly aware of everything, but you simply cannot accept the fact that your second half will not be there anymore, there will be someone else who will again have to learn to love, understand and appreciate, you are afraid of the unknown? There may be a lot of reasons, but even they are not so important, your decision is important. Try to act in the opposite direction, do not look for ways out of this situation, but see the good in negative aspects.
- The first problem. Are you alone, and every day you are waiting for a lonely apartment and an empty cold bed, not too joyful prospect? Now look at it from the other side: You are alone and it is beautiful! Now you are your own mistress and you have a lot of free time. It is not necessary to cook lunch and dinner every day, to follow the perfect cleanliness of the apartment, instead you can wander around the fashion stores, chat in a cafe with a girlfriend or just enjoy the flow of life in the bathroom with a glass of wine. You can sign up for any kind of courses, even dancing, even if you don't even have a massage, that while you are engaged in yourself, someone is waiting at home hungry and angry. You can go with your old fan to the cinema or to the disco, flirt and take gifts from your boyfriends, because all this was previously impermissible.
- The second problem. You are afraid that you will no longer be able to build relationships with anyone, since you do not have the glory of youth and blush. Yes, whatever one may say, a young girl always compares favorably with older women. But with dignity and spectacular you can look at any age. No one has canceled care of themselves, trips to a beautician, hairdresser and makeup artist.Clean, well-groomed skin, healthy shiny hair, slim slim figure and gleam in the eyes always look perfect on a woman of any age. A wrinkle face only emphasize your charm. In addition, you have other advantages, compared with the younger person. This is your mind and experience. Always remember this phrase: "My years are my wealth" and use it in dealing with men. After all, they want to see their companion not only attractive in appearance, but also interesting as a person with whom it is not boring to talk on any topic.
- The third problem. You are worried that your child, when he grows up, does not understand such a decision or, worse, grows morally inferior. But do you think children should better grow in an atmosphere of misunderstanding and dislike, to see constant shouts, scandals and reproaches, or worse, indifference. Ideally, of course, the child should be raised by mom and dad, but this is ideal, but in life everything often happens differently. If the father wants to communicate with the child, do not deny him this, your relationship should not in any way affect the child. And if your ex-husband completely cut off all the ways and does not even recognize a relationship with a child, you face a difficult task - to be your baby and mom and dad. You can do it, the possibilities of a loving mother are endless.
- The fourth problem. You feel sorry for your time, feel sorry for those thoughts and feelings that you sincerely squandered on a person who, as it turned out, was not worth it. It constantly undermines you, makes you return to your experience again and again, scrolling events in your memory, like a film. You do not need to do this, you do not need to revel in your sufferings, otherwise you will not get off the ground. Rejoice that you are a living person who is able to feel and experience, even if it brings pain. Remember how your relationship began, go through all the happy moments, let go of your emotions. After all, if you chose this person, it means there was something special about him, it means that it was necessary.
- The fifth problem. You were too dependent on your spouse - financially or psychologically, that you now feel helpless and weak. To avoid this feeling, start looking for support in life. Now you are alone, and your material problems are only yours, and not of your husband, as it was before, therefore the source of income must be. When circumstances or a small child do not allow to fully work, find work at home - now there are a lot of ways to do this. If your addiction is on an emotional level, then find yourself a hobby that would make you burn. It is not so important that it will be - English courses, stripplasty, mountaineering or breeding purebred dogs. It is important that your eyes light up, and you once again feel the taste for life.
Think of a divorce as a certain stage in your life, after which you are waiting for new happy moments, and, of course, a new love. And often repeat the phrase: "If my half left me, it means that it was not my half, because my will not leave me anywhere."