Creating a family, you should be aware that this is primarily hard work. Any relationship - this is a fragile bowl, which due to wrong actions, offensive statements, lies or treason can break. Unfortunately, regardless of the age group of representatives of the strong half of humanity, many of them are capable of treason. Having learned about the commission of such a sin, some women leave forever, and many want to keep their family union at any cost. In this regard, the fair sex trying to find the answer to the question of how to forgive the betrayal of her husband. Psychological advice will help you understand yourself and understand whether to save such a marriage.
Why do men change?
This question, perhaps, will never be unequivocally answered by any qualified psychologist with many years of experience. A woman can run amok or even blame herself for the mistakes she has made, delve into her past, try to change the present and the future.
When the fact of treason on the part of the faithful breaks into a strong, prosperous and seemingly happy family, it is always akin to the apocalypse. The wife who cheated on his wife can be called a traitor. And here the question is not that he succumbed to carnal pleasures. In many cases, a man cheats on his wife and morally, which is much worse. If you do not want to continue family life with a traitor, then you have no need to deal with the causes of adultery. But if, after all, you love your spouse very much and are ready for decisive steps and forgiveness, then be sure to find out the reason.
Psychologists say that there are an uncountable number of reasons for adultery. They can be classified into different groups, but each case is purely individual. Let's look at the top 7 causes of adultery:
- Search for diversity. If a man is tired of everyday troubles and worries, constant claims of his second half, he will want to bring bright colors into his life and will go "left". It may also be due to sexual dissatisfaction.
- Passed love. Alas, this is one of the most common reasons. When love has passed, domestic problems are seized, and family life has become a routine, the man looks at his chosen one through the prism of his own thoughts and feelings that have accumulated over the years of marriage. In almost 30% of cases, men understand that they have chosen the wrong woman, they begin to find fault, to see all the flaws. In this case, treason for them becomes a kind of light at the end of the tunnel.
- Love-carrot. Unfortunately or fortunately, but love does not come into our lives on a schedule. Many couples regardless of marital experience may face a situation where a man fell in love with another of the fair sex. Nothing can be done about it: as you know, a loving man and mountains will turn, and the oceans will swim, therefore it is almost impossible to keep him.
- Hike "left" under the degree. Most one-time betrayals occur when men are intoxicated. It is at such moments that they want warmth and affection, and if a beautiful stranger was near the corporate party, then all the obstacles are destroyed.
- By nature a winner. Many men decide to commit adultery for excitement, especially if during flirting or outright harassment a woman refused to intimacy. In this case, the man will do everything in his power to prove to the stranger how wrong she was.
- Insult. If the spouse takes a dominant position in the marriage and constantly indicates to the husband any mistakes or a small salary, then it is quite possible that such a woman will soon incriminate him. And in most cases, such adultery ends with the collapse of the marital union.
- The crisis in family relationships. As you know, any relationship during its development pass through several stages. Often a crisis occurs due to unresolved problems, understatement, lack of closeness. In this case, the spouse may try to decide on adultery in order to compensate for the missing "puzzles" in his life picture.
Whether to forgive her husband's adultery: the advice of a psychologist
When such a dramatic situation arose in your life and the news of the betrayal of the faithful became a bolt from the blue for you, first of all, you do not need to make rash decisions. Stay alone with yourself and your thoughts, try to protect yourself from outside influence and advice. During the period of such spiritual solitude, answer yourself honestly to the question: "Do I want to continue family relations with the person who betrayed me?"
Some women, even with five children, three loans, mortgages and joint property, do not forgive their spouse, but make a crucial decision to dissolve the marriage and never again have anything in common. But many of the fair sex for various reasons, they want to forgive adultery in order to save their family.
Psychologists say that recently the betrayal of her husband is considered one of the urgent problems of married couples. And the experience of living together in such situations does not play a role. If you still want to save your union and forgive the faithful, be sure to visit the family psychologist.
How to forgive a person if deep resentment prevents you from doing this?
If you do not want, as they say, to remove the rubbish from your home, then read the advice of experienced psychologists, maybe they will help you to forgive adultery:
- do not try to blame the spouse for everything, be at any time ready for a meaningful and constructive conversation;
- try to discuss together the causes of treason, no matter how painful you are, and decide on their elimination;
- do not constantly remind your spouse about the perfect mistake, try to return the family boat back to its former course;
- after revealing the fact of the “campaign to the left”, it is possible to live separately for some time, so that both you and your faithful can realize your significance, perhaps after such a period you do not want to return to the traitor;
- find a new hobby: go in for sports, sign up for a dance club;
- be in companies more often, communicate with friends;
- Pamper yourself with new clothes, do some shopping.
If you want to forgive the betrayal of a husband, then you should not rush into the arms of the first comer in retaliation. Perhaps your spouse will be all the same, and then you risk to despise yourself for this act.
How to forgive the betrayal of her husband and live on, saving the family?
Remember that the path to forgiveness is very long and thorny. You will not be able to get rid of your thoughts, memories, ideas and fantasies in one or two months. Every day you will take small steps towards forgiveness and complete healing. Release all insults, pay more attention to yourself and the children. Let the spouse know that there are other pleasant moments in life.
Try to be together more often. Even better every evening to gather with the whole family near the fireplace or walk in the park. Find common interests, discuss common interests. And remember, if you are on the path of forgiveness, you must go through to the end. An important role in this situation is the desire of the changed spouse to save your marriage after a serious upheaval.
Love yourself, do not forget that you are a beautiful and perfect woman. Do not try to justify your spouse. After his betrayal, you have two ways: either stay with him, forgive and accept this situation, or leave him forever and not accept the betrayal. Be happy!