Grandma and Grandpa somehow modestly celebrated their 50 years together. They gathered a delicious table, sat down in a small company, talked. They remembered the past, talked about the future. Many of their friends even forgot about this date. The relatives of the business-care, realized it closer to the weekend, began to send their congratulations, call in with gifts.
It would seem: 50 years! This is how many days spent together! Raised children, grandchildren already with great-grandchildren came to visit ... And all together. Sometimes they quarrel in such a way that everything flies around, but after a while they again tea and discuss where it is better to plant potatoes. They have a lot to learn.
This year, they celebrated 5 years of marriage with her husband. Wow: as long as 5 years ago, the wedding died down. The guests together raised their glasses for us, they wanted so much that if it were not for the film, they would not be remembered immediately. Only 5 years old, and already two children, a car in the yard and plans for the future. We started small. But all the time "and in joy, and in sorrow - to pass together."
From my acquaintances, many were squandered. With one child in my arms, a new life is more difficult to build ... And suddenly, my 5 years turned out to be a very long time. They seem to have their own rake, I have my own secrets. So we live - they are without a guy, and I - with my husband. But what prevents them from keeping a man? Perhaps the inability to build relationships ...
My grandmother every summer, when we visited her, shared her "secrets". Perhaps her speech was different, but in the modern interpretation the essence of the advice has not changed:
Learn not only to listen to your husband, but also to HEAR!
Men have their own psychology, women have their own. And not always, each individually is right. But the ability to listen to another point of view is invaluable in family life.
Talk about what's wrong.
If something is not satisfied with the behavior, you should not accumulate an insult in yourself. The hidden begins to bite into the soul with a caustic solution. It is better to say that day what is wrong. Calmly, without anguish, but with an emphasis it would be desirable, and how it happened, why it hurt. Men do not know how to read minds, sometimes they do not even realize that their act could offend. Therefore, pronouncing their feelings will allow them to know their companion closer.
"The litter from the hut is not endured."
I recall the meaning of the phrase: if something went wrong, and there are a lot of “listeners” next to it, then it is better to postpone the showdown until the moment of seclusion. Why does everyone around you need to know what is in the shower? Imagine: something did not suit you in your husband, complained to your mother (friend, to whom). Then we talked, all settled. And live well, as before. But a close person (mom, girlfriend) begin to drip on the brains: "He does not love you! Do you remember how you did it then?" And now the doubt in my heart: maybe the truth is it that I forgave him so quickly? So it is better to keep omissions with you.
Deceived expectations - the problem of waiting.
Quite often we expect from loved ones that they will do this and that. And they suddenly do not. Then an insult may arise ("I am for you, and you ..."). Who needs it? Does it strengthen relationships? First, remember the second point: did you say out loud about your expectations? Secondly, even if they said, do not expect that the husband will give up everything and do as you like (by the way, this applies not only to the husband, but also to those around him). You can hope that everything will be done, but do not expect it to be taken for granted. Then at that moment when your words are ignored, bitter disappointment will not come. And then, when they fulfill the request, the soul will be filled with sincere gratitude. The problem of many people is that they expect too much from others, and they themselves do not always carry out other people's instructions.
Love each other.
Learn every day to find something that will please a loved one: "Mmm, what a delicious tea you made to me!", "Wow, you repaired this faucet, although you did not study plumbing!", "I I'm glad you came home from work a little earlier! We can watch a movie together. "
Perhaps this is not all. There are various "tricks" that apply to a particular person. But, I think, each one will have his own trump card up his sleeve, who can not only get his hands on the King, but also keep him long happy years of living together.
Especially for womeninahomeoffice.com - Katbula