Marriage is a very important step. In life there will be many changes. They will touch your relationship with each other, the household sphere, new priorities, responsibilities will appear and the range of hobbies will change. In addition, no doubt, these very changes will also affect your emotional state. By tying the knot, you take a step to a new level of relationship. Someone will overcome the ladder easily, someone is waiting for a heavy lift, and some may stumble.
Signs of a crisis in family life
Like any other phenomenon, crises of family life have common signs for all, according to which psychologists distinguish the crisis. Knowing these symptoms, you yourself can try to understand the situation in your family.
The crisis of one year of family life
The first crisis, which concerns the family relations of spouses, comes in the first year of their life together. The first joint year is a very important period of family life. At this stage, the recognition of the characters of each other and lapping each other.
- The turning point comes after the newlyweds return from their honeymoon. On the trip, their relationship was accompanied by a romantic atmosphere and complete carelessness. But after their arrival, as a rule, everyday affairs and concerns, including general ones, fall upon them, which they must solve together. It is during this period that most divorces occur. Often people find it difficult to accept their partner as real, as he really is, without a romantic halo. Changes occur in almost all areas of life that concern both of them.
- Every day, week and month the couple more and more plunges into life. Get rid of this immersion is not possible, because from the daily duties you can not get anywhere. Sooner or later you begin to understand the meaning of the phrase "the family boat has broken about life" and try on this expression on your relationship. This part of family life in young people is the strongest test.
- The changes also apply to the intimate sphere. An unpleasant surprise for one of you may be the feeling that the partner is not at all as sexy as it seemed before. Your thoughts and feelings may lead to the conclusion that intimate relationships were much more romantic and tender before the wedding.
- Also a great influence on the relationship in the pair during this period have a variety of little things. Your partner’s habits are beginning to annoy you, as are yours. Interests are not so common. The desire to interest the partner disappears, and you want him to perceive you as you are.
Psychologists suggest from the very first days of marriage to try as best as possible to understand the stalls, to try to get used to his problems, not to show his egoism too clearly. However, do not seek to hide their problems from the person who lives with you. You must trust each other. Remember that now you need to perceive your joint life more real and practical. Bring in your family life some small joys that will save you from the feeling of everydayness. Do not try to tune your partner for yourself! Learn to find a compromise solution.
The crisis of three years of family life
As a rule, this period is associated with the appearance of a child, when new tests begin.
- A new baby takes away almost all the time and attention from a woman, a man in such a situation begins to feel overwhelmed, he lacks attention from his wife. The woman, in turn, also feels lonely, she begins to think that in her life there is nothing but life. Spouses have to rebuild their already established relationship. Conflicts occurring during this crisis can ruin family relationships for a very long time. Life becomes measured, passion and stormy showdown disappear.
- Habitations of the stalls are considered through the fingers. Your tastes don't change, but you start trying to share your partner's hobbies. Often, however, your opinions about these hobbies diverge. In everyday life, everyone already had their own well-established responsibilities.
During this period, psychologists recommend, first of all, not to lock yourself in, try to pay more attention to your spouse. Try to adequately accept criticism of the husband (wife) addressed to you. Make each other small but nice gifts from time to time. Your relationship needs an emotional boost. Understand that the coziness and comfort that you have acquired over several years can more than offset the passion that has become less violent.
The crisis of seven years of family life
This period in the relationship serves as a "stop". It leads to thoughts about yourself and your achievements, which you are often not happy with. It begins to seem that your life is gradually going nowhere, and you still have not had time to do so much and try. As a rule, blame for this you are starting a spouse.
- Often, it is during this period that problems in the intimate sphere begin. Now attention becomes a little woman. She has already managed to be a mother, and the care of the children has faded into the background. Now, a woman wants to live again for her own pleasure, therefore, due to lack of attention from her husband, she can cool off to him.
- Life becomes a heavy burden that goes against the resurgent sexuality. Habits can be a serious reason for a divorce, and your partner’s hobbies are a great excuse to hurt or laugh once more.
During this period, experts recommend giving each other some leeway. Of course, this freedom must have reasonable limits. Trust each other more. It is on trust that your relationship should be built.
The crisis of fourteen years of family life
Relations have become stable and more like friendship. Is coming a period of self-affirmation of men.
- As a result of the aging of the body, quite justified changes occur in the intimate sphere. However, the man wants to feel as before. This causes the occurrence "midlife crisis". It is during this period that a desire to change something in life appears.
- Oddly enough in this period to keep the spouses from divorce can be life. He is already established, and no one wants to start all over again. Tastes and habits are no longer the cause of quarrels and strife. On the contrary, spouses may notice that they are repeating each other's habits.
Psychologists are advised to decide for themselves whether you want to grow old with this person.. If the decision is in the affirmative, then you should not be tormented by doubts, and the spouse - unreasonable cavils. Try not to hide your emotions and feelings. Do not assume that all this is inherent in the young. Love, as they say, all ages.
For many couples, experiencing family crises is hard, for some - altogether impossible. Try to show less selfishness and at least occasionally discuss each other’s problems. If you manage to maintain a trusting relationship and make a little variety in life, you can easily save and love for many years. Happy you life together!