How often we criticize! We believe that we know best how to live correctly, do not know how to accept people as they are, and spend our life energy not for joy, enjoying life and love, but for endless condemnation. The habit of judging is found in many people. If you are one of them, this article is for you!
Let's understand why we love everyone to "wash the bones." Let's call the main reasons.
Reason 1. Low self-esteem
First, this is how we raise our self-esteem. American psychologist Alfred Adler believed that we are often judged precisely when we feel insecure, vulnerable, and especially in need of support and love. It is important for us to know that we are loved. Condemning others, I kind of say: look how wonderful I am, compared to the others, I have something to love. In fact, this is a vicious circle: the more I condemn someone, the more I doubt myself and vice versa.
Reason 2. Failure to accept oneself.
Secondly, we condemn a person for being unable to accept in himself. Whenever you condemn yourself for something, you start looking for it in others and gradually transfer your criticism to them - the substitution mechanism works. It is important to understand that there are no good and bad people, they are just different. You make them bad or good in your thoughts. You attract exactly what you are. And if you are very annoying in a person, it is quite possible that it is in you, but your ego is carefully hidden. Try to analyze your feelings and change something. When you change thoughts, there are completely different people in life, and everywhere - in transport, in the store, on the street.
Reason 3. The habit of judging.
Third, the frequent condemnation of others becomes a bad habit. Even if, objectively, I do not see any flaws in the other, I’m out of habit to start looking for them. To change this, you need to learn to look at the situation more broadly and watch your thoughts. It is very important to be attentive to yourself and constantly keep track of what you think. If it is difficult, you can keep a diary and write thoughts into it in order to then conduct an audit in your head and get rid of excess.
How does condemnation work?
Remember that the habit of judging other people is an imbalance. You create excess potential around you and as a result of the action of equilibrium forces, you can be in the place of someone you despise. This is the most direct and easiest way for the Universe to restore balance. I have repeatedly noticed that when I mentally condemn someone, my physical body quickly reacts and shows me that I myself do not differ from the criticized. For example, I mutter to myself that it would be time for homeworkers to learn how to wash themselves off the table after eating and not to leave dirt. At this time, squeeze the cream to smear the face. Cream suddenly splashes on my clothes. As a result, I myself turn out to be "sloppy" and "inattentive." The universe thus shows me that what I have condemned others for is also inherent in me. This is a very simple example, but it shows the principle of balance working in life.
You can express your opinion about a person, but you should not judge him. Used to scornfully treat the homeless? You yourself can lose money and home. Do you turn away at the sight of people with physical disabilities? And an accident could happen to you. Condemn alcoholics, drug addicts, prisoners? And you can be in their place!
The conviction penetrates deep into the subconscious. If we judge, then we subconsciously launch the extermination program, which is returned by the response energy of destruction. On the physical level, we often get a “hit” in the form of a serious illness. Valery Sinelnikov writes that the emerged disease blocks the subconscious program of destruction (often it is oncology, drug addiction, alcoholism). Moreover, the response aggression extends not only to us, but also to our children. Parents do not even realize that by their conviction they cripple the soul of a child. A woman who condemns alcoholism has an alcoholic son. A man who is contemptuous of women loses his masculine power. And there are many such examples. The main thing is to understand that it is not the Universe that gives us diseases as a punishment, but we ourselves create them with our thoughts, words and actions. Thoughts change - the disease goes away. So do not judge - and you will be healthy.
Rejection of judgment is the key to true love.
Remember the different religions. Their essence is one: love, peace and harmony. The Gospel teaches us: "Do not judge, you will not be judged," the Koran - "Do not blacken each other," the Talmud - "Do not judge your neighbor before you take his place," Buddhism - "Things are not bad and not good, they ( just) eat ". As you can see, the refusal of evaluations and judgments is proclaimed by different spiritual traditions. Why? Because not to judge is to agree with distinction: with the fact that someone is not like you, he thinks and lives differently. To agree with this and accept is to overcome fear, because condemnation always arises out of fear (to look worse than someone, to become unnecessary, to be abandoned, to experience pain, to fail against the background of another, etc.). But you know that you cannot live in fear and in love at the same time! The second commandment says: "Love your neighbor as yourself." Therefore, the choice is yours.
In the next article we will talk about how to stop judging, how to help your heart open to true love and how to learn to live easily. Good luck!
Especially for womeninahomeoffice.com - Katerina Sent