Sociable man - what a "fruit"

As is well known, a person who is able to easily connect with other people is considered to be a sociable person. If you turn to Wikipedia, you can learn that sociability "in the psychology of communication is the ability to establish contacts, the ability to constructive and mutually enriching communication with other people."

But, oddly enough, different people have significantly different views on this definition. Everyone puts something different in the concept of "sociable". I propose to understand this issue a little better.

Do you consider yourself to be sociable? Are your friends of the same opinion about you? Maybe you should take a sociability test to assess your capabilities?

Once I helped my friend fill out a resume for a job search. It was based on my long-standing essay. What was my surprise when in the column "About myself" he said that I should leave "sociability" and "punctuality". My personal contact with him showed that neither the first nor the second was characteristic of a friend. We sat down to talk:

- Do you really think that the concept of “communicable” is about you?

- Do you think otherwise ??? After all, I easily communicate with you and other friends!

- Ummm ... What do you mean by "communicative"?

- This is the person who can communicate a lot.

- But not only with friends !!! Tell me: if you don’t like someone, will you have a quiet conversation about the weather, business or something else?

- Not! And why should I communicate with those who I do not like? I do not hide my emotions and just say that I do not like in a man!

- Just an example: let's say you got a job in an electronics store. A client comes and you do not like something - the view is not the same, and obviously just asks, but there is no money. And now you stop communicating with him simply because he is not interested in you. And in a week he comes again, but with money (he received a salary or a debt was returned) and decides to make a purchase of what he has been looking at for a month already. Who will receive a commission? The one who from the very beginning smiled every time and explained everything! But not you, who fired him!

- Well, think about it! There will be others! Although at work you can and try to smile at all. But here you communicate even with moms who don't like you. What is your benefit? Commissions do not pay!

- Yes, at least in that I develop my communication skills. Learning to speak on a variety of topics with different people. Besides, you never know where and how this or that person can be useful in life.

At this point, our conversation stopped. In principle, each remained unconvinced. The acquaintance still communicates only with those he likes. I did not get a job as a salesman, I had to go to a work shop ... But that’s another story.

What do I want to tell you? I had to repeat a simple dialogue several times for people unfamiliar to each other. For some reason, some believe that they are sociable by definition, if only because they can joke with their friends. But is it possible to call this “networking”? Rather, the "maintenance of existing"!

Every person in our life is given to us for something. Sometimes I am very surprised at what people get into my social circle. But then I realize that I am useful in them. Suppose they communicate whiner and optimist. What does it give them? An optimist looks at another and understands that he does not want to become just such a whiner, and at the time of adversity he remembers their communication and tries to find something good in his life. A whiner? He can simply speak out - because he wants it so much! In addition, after hearing about the happiness of another, it is so easy to answer: "You are lucky! But I have everything bad."

Take a closer look at your relationships with people. Learn not only to listen, but also to hear another person. Be interested in the life of not only your closest friends. And you are surprised to be able to discover the unknown world of communication skills. Only in comparison with other points of view can one appreciate his own significance.

Especially for - Katbula

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