According to many world scientists, each person lies about four times a day. We say that we are glad to see a person, although this is not so. We gag through our teeth, smile, so as not to seem unfriendly to a person and want to save our face.
Here you ask: why do people lie? They are probably afraid to tell the truth or show their true attitude. Why tell the truth? She is impartial, can you add trouble and show what you are the sweetest person. In the end, you can also give numerous excuses, keep silent and let the man think up the answer himself, or lie to cover his rear. Or even better: mix truth with lies. A very good way to tell lies.
Fear of the consequences of lying forces a person to make a choice - to tell the truth or to lie?
Blush a minute before a man by lying to him or telling the murderous truth and losing him forever? And if the consequences do not frighten him - he can tell the truth. In fact, whether you are telling the truth or lying, depends on many human factors. Here are some of the popular ones:
- Benefit, or what purpose do you pursue by telling the truth or a lie?
You can talk about it for hours. Everywhere there are cunning people who trick their goals. Many children pretend to be offended and sick for the sake of parental attention.
- Trust, or how close is a person to you to be frank with him or to hide something?
You will not lay out the whole truth to a stranger. And relatives can know about you even more than you think. Even if you often lie or hold back the truth.
- Social demand, or what kind of lie or truth are you ready to feed people for their popularity and success?
Turn on the TV and look at the politicians. Then, for five years, do not approach it, and when you turn it on, you will certainly hear about the same promises, many of which are not fulfilled.
- Courage, or are you afraid of punishment and responsibility?
Students, being late for the first couple, come up with all kinds of fiction, including about traffic jams and broken transport, even when they live five minutes from the institute. Do you remember many guys who said: “Sorry, I overslept”?
All people lie one way or another. However, there are such individuals among a human tribe who are stuck in a lie and practically do not speak the truth. And let them be your anti-example. Perhaps you will not find a good example among truthful people, because everybody has his own truth and often it hurts, and a lie can be saved for the salvation of an entire nation.
How to be and what to do if you constantly lie?
If these lines are genuinely interesting to you, you probably are not trying to swindle someone for any benefit. Or become a liar on a national scale. There are two options: you are afraid of the truth and you do not trust people. One of the reasons for distrust is fear. Therefore, we will fight it in the following ways:
- Stop thinking about what people will think about you. You are you. Do not they judge you. Therefore - bolder!
- Frequent lies on the basis of fear undermine the relationship between people. Do you want it? Then more truth and candor. The main thing - all this should be benevolent.
- Start telling the truth first of all to yourself. Start with the little things. This will help you understand yourself and the motives of your behavior.
- Start telling the truth to people. This will help them understand you and get on with you.
- Set yourself a good goal and focus your attention on it. They often lie for nothing to do.
- And although perseverance and dedication for the result still did not interfere with anyone, still turn to a professional psychologist for help if you cannot do anything on your own. Perhaps the cause of your chronic lies - a child injury.
How to be and what to do if you constantly lie?
And you are not the case of forty, which is spreading gossip on its tail? Or an amateur pathologist who wants to disassemble a person by bone and to wash them all up? In other words, if you give a person assessments or spread gossip about him, it is unlikely that an intelligent person will tell you the truth, because it will be more important for him to keep his honor in the eyes of people, to leave his personal life without the enigmatic views of neighbors and their close attention. Or to hear in your address something extremely unpleasant, showing a person not the best.
Or another option when you allow yourself to be deceived. There is a huge amount of literature on this topic. About non-verbal and verbal signs of lies. In other words, how a person behaves and what he says when he lies. Check out this topic.
Also watch for people. I am sure that you once had common secrets with people and you had to deceive other people in order to hide these secrets. So, you are already lucky enough to get acquainted with some signs of lies, whether it is verbal inventions or frequent blinking.
How to be and what to do if you can’t tell the truth and a lie is not an option?
It's simple. There are things that other people do not touch. And there are people who stick their nose everywhere. And you have the right to your personal space of thoughts in your head, so you can tactfully let them know that this does not concern them. Depending on the importance of a person to you, you can also:
- Ask a counter question. For example: "Why does it interest you so much?" So you can shift the focus to another person.
- Ignore the question and pretend you didn't hear.
- To say directly that this applies only to you and no one else.
- If a person is too annoying, rudely tear him off and say that he goes beyond the limits of the individual.
- Get away from the answer with a joke.
I wish you to listen to yourself, to understand people, as little as possible annoying noses and as much pleasant truth as possible!
Especially for womeninahomeoffice.com - Anton Lazarchenko