Do you notice how your body changes, how it behaves in different situations? Man is so constituted that he often does not want to see: every change in the physical body is a signal that attracts his attention. Your body is endowed with wisdom, it always reflects what is happening inside (although you may not be aware of it). When your body decides to draw attention to one of the internal processes, it means that your Divine essence shows you your wounds and injuries. If you do not want to see and hear the signals of the body, you will be doomed to wear masks, hoping that the wounds and fears will someday disappear by themselves.
Let's talk about the fear of the deserted and how our body shows it to us. This trauma occurs in early childhood, mainly from a lack of communication with the parent of the opposite sex, when children consider that he is not interested in them, is closed and does not show love. Trying to hide from himself the fear of being abandoned, a person creates a mask of an addict - a creature that needs love and support.
How does the body reflect the trauma of the deserted?
Externally, a person with such fear can be recognized by the lack of tone in the body. His body says: I cannot restrain myself, I need support, help. An addict is confident that he is not able to achieve anything on his own, and his whole body expresses this need for support. This is a man with large sad eyes of a child who are trying to arouse sympathy, weak legs and long arms hanging sadly along the body and creating an impression of helplessness. It is as if such a person does not know what to do with his hands, especially when they look at him, and are trying to put them somewhere. An addict with a trauma of the derelict person often has a curved back, as if the spine is not able to hold it. He is always looking for something to lean on when he stands, and has the habit of physically clinging to a loved one (holding his hand, pressed). When he goes alongside other people, he always lets them go ahead, because he wants to be led. People with an abandoned injury are characterized by flaccidity of muscles, frail physique and poor health. Their characteristic diseases are: back pain, asthma, bronchitis, migraines, hypoglycemia, diabetes, adrenal gland diseases, myopia, hysteria, depression, rare diseases and incurable diseases, fear of open spaces and crowded places. For more information about the diseases of people with trauma left, you can read in Liz Burbo's book "Five injuries that prevent you from being yourself."
An addict is prone to be a victim who creates problems for himself to get attention. When he tries by all means to gain the favor of others, he is actually looking for opportunities to feel important and significant. As you understand, such a person dramatizes everything: a small problem is acquiring enormous proportions. I think you have ever met people, when meeting with them you are amazed: how many problems they have! At the same time, the addict himself does not see grief in these problems: they bring him joy - the attention of other people! So he does not feel abandoned. The trauma left the person hard to make a decision on his own, so he often turns to others asking for their advice. He needs a feeling of support! Such a person can draw attention to himself in another way - by playing the role of a benefactor (diseases of the back, for which "the burden of other people's worries is charged," will tell about this). Pay attention: such a person often changes mood: he feels happy, and then suddenly becomes sad, not knowing why.
An addicted person (especially a woman) tends to ask a lot of questions and often differs in a childish timbre of a voice when she asks for help. It is difficult for her to accept refusal and, in order to achieve her goal, she uses manipulation and blackmail. Fear of being left alone scares the addict the most! He is always arranged in such a way as to be in someone's society. If, however, it turns out to be alone, then feverishly looking for something to do and fill the time. He does everything to be loved and not left alone. He even loves suffering. Look at a woman who lives with an alcoholic or is abused: it is easier for her to endure this hell than to be left alone. Or, for example, a woman pretends not to notice her husband’s adultery: she lives in illusory hope, preferring to assume that everything is in order.
Addicted people easily give vent to tears, blaming others for their pain, who left them at a difficult moment. An addict has a need for the presence of others, but does not notice how often he denies others what he wants for himself. He likes, for example, to sit on the Internet, but he cannot stand it when his close person does it: they left him, exchanged him for virtual communication, nobody needs him. An addict is often anxious (anxiety causes palpitations, fainting, sweating, nausea, difficulty breathing, urinary incontinence, etc.), is afraid of bosses, uses the words "one", "absent", sometimes observes uncontrollable visions, catches emotions and fears of others.
What to do if you saw in yourself a trauma left?
If you see that you have signs of an addict, that you are clinging to others, curry favor with them for fear of being alone, do not panic. Just give yourself the support you need so much! Be yourself the source of love you are looking for! Find a mental image that supports you and address it.
The wound of the deserted was activated in you, most likely, by your parent of the opposite sex, and each person of the opposite sex continues to reopen her. As long as you are angry with your parent (albeit unconsciously), your relationship with people of the same sex as this parent will be difficult. Surely your parent experienced the same trauma with his parent of the opposite sex (same sex as you). Remember that we blame others for everything we do, but we don’t want to notice. Therefore, the harder your wound left, the clearer it means that you left yourself, gave up at some point or left other people, situations, projects.
How to heal yourself?
It is very important to settle relations with parents - only this way you will be able to stop reproducing the same scheme of transmission from generation to generation of the trauma left in your family. For this you need to experience your experience in love.
The first step in healing the injury is its awareness and acceptance of it (you can resist it, not want to see what the body says). Understand that when you created a mask of an addict, so as not to suffer, you showed an act of self-love. This mask helped you survive, adapt to the situation. So thank yourself for it and keep moving on. Now it's time to work on yourself and remove the masks, for you realized your injury. The mask appeared to show you that you are afraid of responsibility and you don’t love yourself enough and trust yourself, therefore you are looking for support from the outside. Be grateful to the occasion or to the person who touched the wound: this touch says that the wound has not healed yet. But you already know about her!
Remember: the source of your well-being should be what you are and what you do, and not the attention, recognition and support of other people! Your wounds need you to acknowledge and love them! To love them is to agree that you created them yourself, not by chance, but to help yourself. You need to accept that all that you fear from others and what you reproach them for, you yourself cause others, and especially yourself. Suffering from the trauma of an abandoned person, you strengthen it whenever you quit an important business, do not pay attention to your loved one, do not take enough care of yourself.
The next step to healing will be your own permission to be angry with your parents. Experiencing the sufferings you experienced as a child, you will be filled with sympathy and compassion for the child in yourself. Having missed your anger on your parents, you must leave her and forgive them. As a result, you will become yourself and stop believing that you need your protective mask. You will understand that the lessons that Life gives you should be accepted and passed, and not blocked from them.
Learn to love yourself!
This is true self-love! To love yourself is to give yourself the right to be what you are at the present moment, to accept yourself unconditionally, without judging or criticizing. You will be surprised when you find that the more you allow yourself to betray, reject and be unfair, the less you do it! Learn to be yourself and feel good even in solitude, and gradually your dependence in external attention will disappear. If you realize your injuries and heal them, then the energy spent on masking the pain will be released, and you will be able to use it for the realization of creative ideas and ideas - you will build such a life as you aspire, while remaining yourself! Remember, God is in you.
Especially for womeninahomeoffice.com - Katerina Sent