We all know that it’s silly and ugly to label people. But once we set ourselves to hold out even for a day without them, we will catch ourselves thinking that this is simply impossible. Since childhood, we have become accustomed to this, and it is difficult to restructure our consciousness.
Where do labels come from?
Let us recall the kindergarten, there the children necessarily identified the common outcasts, who were immediately given nicknames - “fool”, “lost”, “sneak”, and then at school we singled out hooligans, excellent students and gray mice. All this flows into adulthood, in any team they must find someone who gets out of the general order and is also labeled. And no matter what this label will be: "white crow", or "downtrodden", it performs its function of general condemnation. But if you think about it, are the labels only negative? You can look on the other hand: labels help us make judgments faster and not reinvent the bicycle, that is, having some already well-established scheme in our head, we can more quickly draw conclusions about people and things.
Psychologists explain labeling the defense mechanism of the psyche man, namely, shifting his own problems to anyone, just not on himself. For example, a person who is constantly unlucky with the work team connects this with the evil boss, then with envious colleagues, while not daring to admit to himself that this is his own bitterness to the whole world gives rise to such an attitude of others. Or one more example, a mother does not want to take the son-in-law of her son into her family, explaining that she is not worthy of him, although in reality the usual jealousy is the reason for this. Labels also help to shift responsibility from yourself to others, starting to associate their failures with poor upbringing in childhood, or injuries that were once loved. The same situation arises in the correlation of character with the sign of the zodiac.
Many people believe in horoscopes so much that they associate any negative human deed with the peculiarity of his zodiac nature: "He is Capricorn, therefore he is so stubborn," "He is cancer and very modest." It is especially dangerous to inspire such attitudes to children, they practically leave them no choice to behave differently, and why, after all, even so it is known that lions are evil, virgins are incredulous, and cancers are indecisive, so the child has to be evil, incredulous or indecisive.
No one wants to fall prey to someone else's wrong judgment. To avoid this, we try to constantly demonstrate our originality, education and sense of humor, and here we again fall into the trap - the fear of ratings. On average, this fear is present in every person, and this is normal, as it helps us adapt to society — its norms and values. But for some, this fear can go off-scale and cause many complexes and phobias. The most typical example of this is timidity and shyness.
Have you ever wondered why shy modest people are the most exposed to ridicule and criticism from others? Due to the weakness of their character, they become an excellent screen for those who gladly put out their own projections on them (this was already mentioned above when a person searches for his own weaknesses in others). Another type of apprehended fear is the fear of inattention, when a person craves for this attention simply at any cost, and not as important as it will be attracted by good or bad ways.
The next reason that prevents an objective assessment of a person is called a halo effect by psychologists. It consists in attributing qualities to a person in accordance with our attitude towards him. For example, you consider your girlfriend Olya a loving wife and a caring mistress, and if she commits an act that cannot be combined with these concepts, for example, gets a lover for herself, then you start looking for the reasons for such an act not in her, but in the behavior of her husband, or just arms out in surprise.
How to deal with labels?
Trust but check
Not always evaluation labels will be wrong, they can be optimal, so be attentive to your feelings. As a rule, in moments of bitterness at someone or something, we tend to judge others and label, try next time in evaluating others, turn on logic and look at another person from a common sense position, rather than seek out evil intentions in his actions.
I could avoid omissions and incorrect assessments if people were always sincere with each other and spoke openly about their feelings and experiences, and then you no longer have to play someone else’s role and explain to others around the reasons for your sometimes strange actions.
Do not judge by horoscopes
Of course, in the horoscopes there is a grain of truth, and everyone can find a bunch of coincidences about his sign, but it is silly to customize an individual for a general horoscope. Take note of the peculiarities of the person’s character and psycho-type, but do not rush to draw conclusions and, if possible, ask if he really thinks so or is this just your conjecture.
I advise you, finally, to look at those around you with a new look and cast aside false beliefs!
Especially for womeninahomeoffice.com - Natella