Sometimes it is so difficult to make a choice: white or pink blouse? Soup or soup? Spit or tail? Work for yourself or your boss? Get married or wait? So many questions torment us every day, and we are forced to make choices. But how to solve? Some do it simply, while others delay the answer indefinitely, because they do not know how to make decisions on their own. Why?
Fear of responsibility
Very often, this fear begins in childhood, when the child’s initiative was suppressed, and the parents took decisions for it. Over time, he got used to it and stopped thinking about how to be, knowing what others would think for him. Therefore, at that moment, when you are faced with a choice already in adulthood, you may be in panic, and your hand will involuntarily reach for the phone to call your mother. But your mother cannot decide for you all the time, she will advise something in serious matters, but she will not say from which cup to drink tea and which film to watch tonight. The time has come to become free and to understand simple truth: it is necessary to listen to the parents, but the decisive voice should still remain with you. And in responsibility there is nothing terrible, you get used to it as quickly as you do to irresponsibility. Unleash your inner child, who was deprived of the right to vote since childhood, and let him say what he wants.
Fear of making the wrong decision and making a mistake
This fear is inherent in those who are used to constantly criticizing themselves. Whatever choice you make, you will always regret and poison your life with thoughts: you had to choose the wrong thing. It’s not a matter of choice: the apple pie is no worse than the currant pie and vice versa, but you’re used to thinking of yourself as a loser, so the fear of repeating the mistake guides your actions. Remember one thing: no wrong decisions. If you have made a choice, it means that it is necessary, and on this path you will pass exactly the lessons that you need and you will receive the knowledge you need. Therefore bold! Choose your heart.
We do not know how to refuse
Often the need to choose one thing confuses the most determined natures. After all, to stop at one thing means to abandon everything else: from other possibilities, benefits, advantages. And we want everything at once. There is an elementary greed. And it is worthwhile to remind yourself of the parable about Buridan's donkey: if you still stand in indecision, not knowing what is more attractive for you, and not daring to give up what is less, you will end up with nothing. You will not lose anything. What you refuse from is not yours, and even if it was once yours, then it is time to make room from the good for the better. So do not hesitate!
How to learn to make a decision?
1. Accept responsibility
As long as you think that there is someone (mother, boss, president, God) who will decide all the questions for you, you will not be able to change anything in your life. You transferred the rights to it to someone else, deprived yourself of the chance to change something. Rethink your life, become free, and you will have a new awareness and perception of reality.
2. Overcome fear of failure
To do this, change your inner conversation with yourself. Thoughts are positive, because failure is a reality only for the one who thinks about it. In reality, there are no failures in life, there are only lessons. So why blame yourself if the knowledge that you possess now was gained only through these lessons? Every action, right or wrong from the standpoint of common sense, nourishes you and expands your understanding and sense of life. Do not be afraid and do not wish to forget about some "blunders", because they gave you a true gift - wisdom.
3. Learn to trust life
Trust the universe, its wisdom. When you were just born and growing up, you didn’t ask anyone how to breathe, walk, smile or talk. Everything naturally came by itself. How can you not trust life after this?
4. Do not be afraid to take risks
Learn to enjoy the risk, it will strengthen your confidence. In this case, you can use the technique of modeling: choose a brave, solid, determined person, who for you is an example of confidence, willpower and success. Each time, facing a choice when making a decision, ask yourself: "How would he do? What would you do in my place?"
Loving and feeling sorry for yourself is not the same thing.
Stop feeling sorry for yourself and complain to everyone, how miserable and indecisive you are. You are determined! You are persistent! You are confident! You just hide it from the world, because it's so convenient. Choose love instead of pity, remove the mask of suffering from your face and boldly open to all the headwinds. Do not shift responsibility to others, in this world everyone is responsible for his own. Understand this and with faith in yourself choose the paths along which to go, people in your path, words and thoughts. Right now, make the most important decision in your life — always making choices confidently and easily.