How to learn patience in a relationship

Many peoples of antiquity considered patience a virtue. In fact, this ability can help us avoid many conflicts, hide our emotions from unwanted eyes, do not miss our happiness in the end. The ability to restrain yourself in certain situations will help you to be happier and not waste your strength on disputes and conflicts.

Motivation to learn patience

Probably, more than once after a quarrel with a loved one, you regretted that this spat took place. You started looking for reasons, what was the matter, why did it happen ... As a result, you probably came to the conclusion that your patience "was out of order" or you lost temper and did not even try to suffer a little.

And now you have to reproach yourself for haste, your absurd nature and for the fact that you do not know how to behave in a relationship and can not yield. Now just sit down, calm down and think about how the situation could develop if you reacted more adequately. Try to remember some more similar examples. The main thing that you need to understand is that you could be happier if you even occasionally thought about what you say, with what intonation, what you do, that is, sometimes you were patient with the actions of others. Unrealized opportunities and contacts lost in vain should push you to the idea that something urgently needs to be changed in your behavior.

Selfishness and patience in relationships

When communicating, do not be selfish. Try to think a little about the impact of the situation on the one who is next to you. After all, not always that which brings happiness to us, also satisfies the emotional consequences of another person. There is a saying: "What is good for a Russian, a German is death." So, even with your closest friends or a loved one, the reaction to a certain news, circumstance or action may differ from yours.

If we rejoice and our friends are upset, we often genuinely wonder how this can be. The controversy begins. Very well, if you know how to argue and can eventually reach a consensus. But if this does not happen, then a simple difference in perception can result in a quarrel. To prevent this from happening, learn to put yourself in the shoes of another person. Think about how you would act in his place. Just understand him and try to tolerate his reaction, even if you don’t understand it at all. It is best to try to change the topic of conversation. So you will stay with your opinion, and do not be rude to a friend. After all, perhaps your quarrel would give you much more negative emotions than the fact that a friend did not rejoice with you.

Fostering patience with an account

The classic method to learn patience, which is often recommended by psychologists, is the method of reference. It lies in the fact that every time a person starts to take you out of yourself, you are given the task, for example, to count to ten. During the time your brain is occupied with this simple operation, the amount of your anger and indignation decreases.

Thus, distracted by the seemingly simplest thing, you can avoid possibly irreversible consequences. In addition to the sequential account, you can use, for example, listing female names for a specific letter or recall the names of all your relatives with blue eyes. You can come up with anything! The main thing is to divert yourself to the period when your anger is ready to break out on the person in full.

If you do not succeed at all with acquiring the ability to endure, you cannot force yourself not to get annoyed, not to show aggression, then should consult a psychologist. Perhaps the best option would be anger management courses. Lack of ability to endure is a very important problem that requires urgent solutions. A person simply cannot exist normally in society if he does not learn patience, at least in some situations.

Especially for Marie Matveyuk

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