Complex "honors" in adulthood

Do you remember the smartest girl in the class? After all, she undoubtedly was! Or were you yourself? What unites pupils from different schools? The desire to be ahead, to obtain the highest score of their skills or knowledge, the desire to perform perfectly any job.

But the school ends sooner or later, but the complex "honors" may not go away ... It would seem that this is bad? Ideal life, leadership position, ability to solve any problems. But not everything is so simple in this matter. The desire to show themselves only from a favorable position can lead to deep depression.

The life of one class is subject to special laws. Everyone knows each other for more than one year, and the usual roles are distributed long ago. The first bias may occur at the university, where several such pupils meet at once in the group. Involving themselves in the whirl of various formulas, theoretical studies, they are completely “detached” from adult life. And by the end of the university, as a rule, receive red diplomas, unsettled personal life and job prospects for the "great idea" in a low-paid position.

At work "honors" can be confronted with the fact that they are not completely supported by management. It would seem that, in understanding the details of the peculiarities of their business, for some reason they completely lose to those who cleverly weave a network of human relationships. And it is very difficult to admit to myself that the authorities do not see elementary things, and bonuses are by no means received for perfectly done work.

But even outside of work the syndrome of “honors” makes itself felt. In one day, only 24 hours, during which you want to do so much. But it is impossible to physically do all that I want. Especially if the family has a husband, children, and you have to go to work. Cooking, cleaning, washing, communication with children and husband require much more time than it actually is. And here arises a controversial situation in which everyone finds his own way out:

  • admit to yourself that you cannot manage to do everything and concentrate on the most important things;
  • try to do everything at once and drive into the whirl of affairs, from which there is practically no way out;
  • enjoy "here and now" by doing everything a little bit;
  • to go into a depressed state and admit their inconsistency.

How to reveal this complex in yourself? Just listen to what's bothering you. Perhaps at school you were not an excellent student for some reason. But now you are trying to prove to someone that your life is interesting and fascinating. Think carefully: Is everything you do that brings pleasure? What exactly do not like? What is the reason you are doing this or that?

And then ask yourself the most important question: "Does such a life suit me or does I want to change something in it?" If you decide to change something, then start with the internal settings. For example, tell yourself:

  • For my children, I am the best mother, if only because I decided to give birth to them. The lack of joint games with them cannot say that I do not like them. Only I decide how to educate them. Therefore, the opinion of other moms that I am doing something "wrong" is wrong. I strive to maintain a close relationship with them.
  • For my husband, I am an ideal wife, since he suggested that I should marry him. All my faults balance it. Together we are a family, so calmly survive both joy and sorrow.
  • The lack of order in the house is not a reason for the tragedy. In any housing you can find homework, but this does not mean that you should spend all your free time on it.

P.S. Once I myself lived in complete dissatisfaction with myself. She tried to memorize more formulas, facts, data on various subjects, in order to "trump up" erudition in the circle of others. Fortunately, I realized that it is much more interesting to learn to communicate with other people, and not to “shine” with your mind.

Especially for - Katbula

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