There is nothing stronger than maternal love and there is nothing worse than a conflict between mother and daughter. This is a very serious topic and I would not like to hurt someone's feelings. Relations between them are different. Let's see together how to behave with your daughter so that everyone will be happy?
The most correct relationship in my opinion is when a mother and a daughter are two girlfriends, a daughter can trust her mother with all the most intimate and understand and support her mother, and where possible she can give advice, because the mother has life experience and wisdom that her daughter lacks. In this relationship, love and understanding reign. After all, how nice it is when a daughter can be herself and share the most intimate, and mom, in turn, can understand and accept her point of view, without offending her feelings and not openly imposing her views on life. The main thing is that the mother gives her girl to grow, without stepping on her personal freedom, giving her the right to have her own mistakes, giving responsibility for the life of her daughter to herself.
And in life?
But there are other relationships between these closest people, I would like to call them wrong. Wrong relationships with the daughter are built by those mothers who do not want to work on their personality, for some reason have a weak maternal instinct, or lack of the ability to Love.
The most difficult thing in this relationship is when the mother does not want to let go of her daughter from herself, considering her as her property. Let's see. For example, a mother is a biological principle, and a father is a social one. A woman is given the right to give birth, bring up and give love to her child, and the father is obliged to support the family in material terms, but what happens when the mother has not developed a personal life? This is where the complexity of the relationship takes place, but it lies in the fact that the daughter resembles a hated husband - a scoundrel, and all the revenge accumulated in the soul of this mother’s grief pours out on her daughter, who in turn cannot understand what is happening, why mom turned into Tirana. While a small child, you have to obey and adapt to this domestic terror, and when the daughter grows up, she either runs away and looks away from home (to live with a man, study in another city, etc.), or begins to repulse her parent and in the family there is a scandal. Then it will be very difficult for this daughter to build relationships with men, since she unconsciously will hate them, cannot trust them, because the mother has inspired her since her childhood. And in the end, maybe back to live with mom (doomed). And mom will be happy, strangely enough.
And maybe the other way around, my daughter will go to live far away and will never return. Or run away in a man whom he does not love, just for the sake of being away from mom. Or worse, subconsciously will choose the same tyrants, and will marry a man like her mother who loves scandals. And it will continue to suffer until the end of life, until it learns to defend itself.-
Hence the conclusion that your child was happy - Keep your personal life. These victims of yours (for the sake of the child allegedly) are not needed by anyone. Because of your personal grievances against men and disappointments, you deprive the child of the example of a relationship between a man and a woman. Examples of Love. And then, do you expect the child to be grateful to you for devoting your life to him? Not. The child should not owe you anything. And he does not need your Victims, for by the example of the Victim you form his relationship with the world, namely, the sense of sacrifice with which the child will live the rest of his life.
And it also happens that the mother takes care of her daughter too much and when her daughter needs to fly away from home for good, get married and have children, the mother begins to manipulate with the help of her illness and bind her child to herself. As so, I - mother and all. What kind of love can we talk about here? The ego of the mother rules in such a relationship, just animal instinct. After all, the daughter here is considered as property. These mothers are afraid of loneliness, because their whole life, instead of building their own, was given to the child, and if the daughter leaves, then emptiness. So we get an eighty-year-old mother, proudly lying on the bed, and a sixty-year-old daughter, an old maid, who serves as her mother. Dear mothers, let your daughters go, let them fly, because you should not demand love from children, love does not require anything in return. The children themselves will take care of you when the time comes. As a sign of gratitude for your love and care. Just know the middle ground;)
There is a saying in the east - a child is a guest in your home. And in the east, people are wise. I wish you wisdom, happiness, love.
Dear mothers, let your daughters go, let them fly, because you should not demand love from children, love does not require anything in return. The children themselves will take care of you when the time comes. As a sign of gratitude for your love and care. Just know the middle ground;)
Especially for womeninahomeoffice.com - Mercury