Ability to negotiate with the child

In a family where a child is brought up, a sense of contradiction among the parents is familiar. On the one hand, I want the complete obedience of the baby in many situations (especially in the presence of outsiders). On the other hand, the dreams of becoming a strong leader somehow do not tally with a completely weak-willed child who cannot defend their positions.

You know, there is an expression that “to understand the condition of a problem is to solve it in half”. Think about what you want to teach your baby. Any adult behavior is a reason to think about how to behave. And if the parents very quickly break down on a cry, then the child will automatically be trained to solve their problems by crying and crying. Are you sure that this is what you want? Is it possible for a child to respond only to shouting, threats or beating? Of course not. You can search for a more reasonable style of communication.

For example, in our family it is customary to stipulate what excites anyone. And when the 3-year-old daughter began to behave too whimsically, we realized that it was time to change something. But what? My round belly, trips to doctors, preparation for childbirth somehow reduced the time of communication with the child. On the eve of her three-year anniversary, the decision came by itself (or somewhere she heard, read, and peeped).

So: I took an album sheet of paper and hooked it to the refrigerator with a magnet. Then she told her that her birthday would soon be coming and she could have a lot of candy.

A small digression: I basically did not give her chocolates until the age of 3, because their composition does not imply the ease of assimilation by a child’s body. But she was sometimes allowed to eat a jelly candy or marmalade.

Near the paper in the kitchen put a marker (brighter, so that the child could see the image on paper). For something good on the leaf was drawn candy, banana, raisins, or dried apricots. In general, exactly what can please the child. Who said that kids love candy only? Just adults show that they are more valuable than other sweets. But here we were in our childhood, we bought dried apricots, raisins, figs (but she didn’t love him — all of me!), Sweet fruits or berries. We tried to take something from our lands (pears, apples, grapes), and only then overseas (bananas, pomegranates, peaches). And my daughter gladly ate natural sweet fruit.

At first it was very difficult to find the "good" that is worthy of a mark on paper in the form of sweets. The child seemed absolutely uncontrollable. In a short period of time, our Angel was transformed into a fast, capricious Fury. But we successfully coped with the task. For example:

• I went to the pot myself without a reminder - why not a reason to rejoice? Moreover, a child under 5 years of age may have occasional "misses."
• I fell asleep in the afternoon without long persuasion and running around the apartment - great! Mom had a calmer lunch time.
• Evening and time to clean up the toys? As an incentive - to promise to draw three raisins (funny, is not it?) And 1 banana. An even greater encouragement is to let her do it herself.
• Did she leave the walk calmly, without scandals and violent tantrums? So, our method definitely works!

And then - the most important thing: when the child begins to indulge, you must calmly promise to completely cross out the drawing. One pampering = minus one figure. At first, the baby may not understand the meaning of the threat, which is why it is so important to take to the painted sweets and to draw one thing completely with it. As a rule, it is very effective.

In the following times there may be crying: "Do not sketch!". It should be explained in a relaxed manner that if the child behaves well, a new drawing of fruits or sweets will appear on the paper. And always keep your promises!

A couple of tips for last

1. Leave one fruit that will not appear on the list. For example, if a child loves bananas, and you buy them almost every day, then continue on. But do not add them to the list if you are not sure that you can safely live without them. There must be something from the vitamins that will be given to the child regardless of his behavior.
2. If the holiday is too far, and on paper there is almost no room for the promised fruit, then start buying them earlier. And then solemnly circle in another color the sweetness brought. This will protect the child from overeating and allergic reactions.

The applicable method ("drawings of sweets") is effective on the eve of any holiday. For an older child, these may be virtual coins drawn to acquire a desired toy or any other gift.

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